Relationship advice for men?

Dated my girl for a little over a year. She has a bazillion guy friends. Half of which I found out are either ex’s, or have crushes on her. I accepted this, and rolled with the punches the best I could. But at some point, I feel you have to draw a line. A couple months ago, she went on a 5 day trip to the Grand Canyon/Vegas. I knew she was sharing a room with her two guy friends from college. One is married, and she was the best "man"in the wedding. Come to find out there was a 3rd male friend who was married, that she actually shared a bed with for the two nights they were in Vegas. She said if she could trust herself, then why can’t I trust her? Is this even about trust? I feel that was completely disrespectful, and not necessary when you are in a commited relationship that you actually want to work. She said if I understood the dynamic of the friendships then it wouldn’t be an issue. Well, not having met any of these guys, that’s a little hard to do. Anyway, it really put a strain on our relationship. I dealt with all the hanging out with guy friends, dinner, visits, etc. However, this one was where I drew the line. I didn’t accuse her of anything, just let her know I did not approve. Am I crazy? She made me out to be insecure, possesive, and untrusting. I mean, how many guys at 38 years old would put up with this? any input is appreciated. Thanks

Well considering you put this in the LGBT category I would usually decline answering a question like this but you seem like a nice guy.

I am a lesbian, most of my closest friends are either straight/bi guys and bi/lesbian girls. I’ve slept in the same bed as the majority of my closest friends even if I was in a relationship at the time, I’ve slept in the same bed with an ex whilst in a relationship before. If nothing happened then personally I view it as acceptable, Vegas is expensive for hotel rooms, this may be the only reason she shared the same bed as a guy.

It is about trust, why do you disapprove of it? It’s either that you’re jealous or you think she may have cheated on you. If you can’t trust her then you should get rid of her because the main thing in a relationship besides love and communication is trust.

They’re close friends and lovers will never get in between friends who are like brothers/sisters to each other. If you try and stop her from doing this then you’re trying to change her, another thing about a good relationship is that your partner accepts you for exactly who you are and doesn’t want you to change. You may make sacrifices for each other but you should not attempt to change something in her that she does not want to change herself.

Could you recommend a great relationship book for a man to read?

I know of many books that are great for a woman to read but I am looking for something that will actually attract a man and keep his attention. Something that helps and gives great relationship advice. Are there any men that have any suggestions?


-The Fault in our Stars (John Green)

How can anyone get into a relationship with a misogynist?

What do women see in these men?

I see a lot of nice men not in relationships, and a lot horrible, nasty abusive men IN relationships.
I’m a little miffed at this phenomenon. I don’t want any more bad guys in this world.

It’s bad enough.
This is like why I don’t want to have children, because I don’t want them to live in a world filled with psychopathic misogynistic narcissists.
My mum is going to be so upset at me.
@ TGB, you’re right! I’ve been seeing a lot of horrible nasty individuals in relationships, and it’s amazing.

Bad people get into relationships easy, as the saying:

"easy come, easy go"
"garbage in, garbage out".

On the other hand, nice guys and girls need time to actually think about what they want in a relationship, and how to make it work for them to last for lifetime. It takes a great deal of time and effort to establish a great loving relationship that will make both partners happy and achieve great success together.


I’ll use an analogy here (education v.s. work)

Those who choose to work early in life to gain money, they drop high school or drop university to get a job early. It’s good for them at first, but their careers gets bad after a while and they earn very little.

Those who wait, invest in education and postpone work until they have got enough education and training, they don’t earn much at first. But later on, they get better careers and earn much more.


Same things goes in a relationships. Bad guys have fun and mess around, but they end up being lonely when their women know they’re bad/liars/whatever. On the other hand, nice guys find it hard and confusing to choose Mrs. right, but once they do find her, they love her so much and spend the rest of their life with.

How can I get my Egyptian Fiance a US tourist visa?

I’ve recently gotten engaged to an Egyptian man in Cairo. My family wants to meet him in person as they have spoken to him many times on chat. I was studying abroad and his family was hosting me in Egypt. I know he is not trying to get a green card out of me (for any of you who are suspicious). He doesn’t want to immigrate to the US or even stay in the US for more than a month. We just want to get him a tourist visa so he can stay and meet my family for 2 weeks with the most being 3 weeks. We would love for him to come to visit in December so he can experience how Christians celebrate Christmas since I stayed/lived with him all of Ramadan in Egypt.

I’m not looking for relationship advice! I just want to know how to get him a tourist visa to come meet my family for Christmas. We are wishing/praying for him to come at December since my brother will be bringing his Japanese fiancee to visit in December after living in Japan for 3 years.

What can we do? I tried going to the embassy and speaking/ getting help but i was refused entry and no one answers their phones or emails. Do I need to write my fiance a letter of support? He has many ties to Egypt as he is a university student and also is in the middle of inheriting a property (which is going through the courts for legalization).

So what can we do? What are the steps? Where do we even start?

To get him a tourist visa is going be very difficult. There are two ways you can go about this, you can a get a fiance visa, this will most likely get approved but you do have to get married in 3 months. If you don’t want to go that route, you should not write a letter of support or do anything to help with his visa in anyway as it is more likely he will get denied. I would get a family member, preferably male, to sponsor his visa that would have a higher chance. Also send finical records of who ever is sponsor that shows they can support him for 2 to 3 weeks but not more. The reason for this is the U.S. wants to make sure he is not immigrating or tiring to. If you sponsor him the person looking at his app can put 2 and 2 together. Also if you don’t have enough to support he would need to find work, on the other hand if you can support him for a long time he doesn’t need to leave. Still it’s tough.

How does one tell if a long distance relationship is real and sincere?

With the internet as the only means of contact and communication I am puzzled by people who profess their love without physically meeting. What gives here? Are men and woman prey to the advances of their own emotions and each other or are the hunters looking for something else?

1. Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. Setting parameters such as naming your relationship ( dating, seeing each other, boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged)as well defining exclusive(limited to one person,) non exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?"or "What are you looking to get out of the relationship?". Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to maintain what they need.
2. Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won’t be seeing each other, it’s important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don’t always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Remember that e-mail and even instant messengers can increase the possibility of misunderstandings. Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand – you don’t take communication for granted!
3. Do things together. Defy the distance. As a long distance couple, it’s important to do other things together besides the usual phone call. In a long distance relationship, interaction over the phone can become dull in the long run. Incorporating other forms of interaction are important. Just think… people in short-distance relationships do not spend the majority of their time talking, but rather doing things with each other. Try to replicate this by finding things to do together such as watching a TV show or movie simultaneously. For an extensive list of more things you can do with each other (or for each other) click here: Over 60 Activities for LDR Couples to Do!
4. Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality – something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.
5. Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there’s a movie you’re both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while you’re on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.
6. Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match – or someone else is a better match – your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.
7. Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you’d want to live together, discussing how you’re going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.
8. Know when to say good-bye. While this is tough in any relationship, this can be especially hard over long distances. When communication becomes one-sided or sparse for too long and for no apparent reason, when arguments (yes, you’ll have them) become too frequent, when the whole thing just seems like more trouble than it’s worth, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship. You have to remember that for a healthy relationship, no matter how far or close, you must be willing to let go.
9. Remember: things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better. Have hope.
10. Visit often Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone calls. You need to see each other up close and person

Is it strange for women to buy each other underwear and thong gifts to each other?

They have been friends for many years and both have had unsteady man relationships for years.

I don’t see how that’s any of your business.

And no, women buying each other lingerie is not the same as if men did it. I bought a straight friend of mine a sexy nightie when she got a new boyfriend. I have ZERO interest in her and she’s totally uninterested in women.

It’s a girl thing.

In China when it comes to blasian relationships?

I’m white but for some strange reason Blasian relationships fascinate me. They’re so exotic and uncommon. So lets say we were in China would there be a higher chance of a black man/ chinese women relationship or a black women/chinese man relationship. Don’t say theres no black people in China or Chinese and blacks dont date because i’m positive it has happened before. I’ve seen some here In the states but what about in China ?

Definitely black guy, Chinese woman. Usually African guys. Guangzhou actually has a pretty sizeable black population.

I have never seen a Chinese dude with a black chick in China (in Canada and the U.S., I have though). I mentioned it to a buddy in China once, and he said that black women are just "???."

How long after a relationship ending can I start asking them for relationship advice?

I was in a light relationship with this girl and now we are still good friends. I don’t really have any female friends other than her, and she knows me the best, and and has been on that side of the relationship and would know how I can improve myself. We have both moved on and she is in a new relationship.

Asking an ex for advice is not that good of an idea sometimes. It really depends on the type of advice your looking for. To improve yourself? She could say talk more but maybe the next girl says talk less. You know what I mean? I guess it depends on the advise your asking for. If she has been in the same situation as you, and she knows you so well, she may be able to give you real good advice, but on the other hand she could give you advice based on her experience with you and it may not be that good of advice. I’m sure that you are a pretty smart guy though and could be able to determine if her answer was a legit helpful one or just completely bogus. if you are still close, I would just ask her.

Me and my ex are still close and I ask him for advice all the time, and he actually helped me land my
new man, your not going to know if its useful till you try. :)

How has feminism backfired for personal relationships?

For example: Though women have sexual freedom they don’t have true commitment. Since sex is readily available?

Though women are competing and succeeding in the work force, yet they are failing at home with absent parenting in both single/dual income families?

When making more money yet the supply of men who makes as much or more are in short supply.

And finally, women making the money and yet men still have to pay to maintain some semblance of femininity?

Apathy from men towards relationships and family roles.

talk about questions from another decade!

sexual freedom does not indicate a lack of commitment in a committed relationship. sexual freedom means a woman can declare what she wants in the bedroom and have a one night stand if she chooses or not. it’s sexual freedom, not mandated sexual activity.

many mothers work and raise healthy, happy, well adjusted children.
and it is simply not possible for many families to survive financially on one income.

why does a woman have to make as much or less than her partner?
income is income. if a man feels emasculated by the fact that his partner makes more than him that is his issue, not hers.

men do not have to pay. it is considered custom to some people but like society it is changing. our children may consider this an antiquated notion by the time they are young adults and dating.

and if a man is apathetic to his familial responsibiltiy that is not his wife/partner’s fault. it is his. how does feminism cause apathy by men toward relationships and family roles.

please include some sources to back up your claims next time.

You think interracial couples make the most beautiful babies? Especially those with a white and black parents?

I think Mixed women and white men relationships are so awesome!

Best racial mixtures from top to bottom.

1. Black-White
2. Asian-Black
3. White-Asian.

Race doesn’t matter though, it’s the person that does.