I am an American woman and my significant other is Turkish. How do Turkish men treat their women? Are they distant? Nurturing? Anything? Thanks. I am not sure if he is sincere, this is why I ask.

Turkish men are excellent lovers and husbands who can easily adapt every situation for the women they’re in love with. According to my personal observations, the problem with marriages between American women and the men from other nationalities including Turks stems from American women rather than their husbands as American women are generally raised with prejudices towards the other nationalities in their own country.

Don’t let people feed you with irrational stereotypes regarding Turks by indulging your American woman instincts. My advice to you is to think if you love him as much as he loves you and try to clear your mind from all the perejudices towards the people from other cultures and nationalities.

I’ve been engaged for almost a year, for the most part we’ve had a great relationship but of course no relationship is always a bed of roses. The first issues we’ve had happened a few months ago in which I got really upset after him complimenting other women on tv on a regular basis to me. He’s an artist and not gay so I can understand he appreciates beauty and I wouldn’t of had any issue with it "if" he also once in a while paid me a compliment, needless to say I started to feel that maybe he didn’t find me attractive anymore. I confronted him about his behavior and he looked at me like I was crazy. I asked him if he still felt attracted to me and his response was " I’m with you aren’t I?"…" If I didn’t find you attractive I wouldn’t be with you." Ok so not long at all after that I noticed that for a few weeks he stopped telling me he loved me "after" I would tell him which was unusual. What wasn’t unusual is he rarely ever said it first. So naturally I started to wonder if he loved me and/or if there was someone else.

So I guess his not saying he loved me for a while triggered his past behavior constantly complimenting others and never complimenting me and the fact I started noticing he particularly enjoyed watching movies with nude or scantily clad women every weekend we would spend together. It’s important I also make known that during a past long term relationship I discovered my then fiance had a porn addiction which he never overcame. He was psychologically diagnosed as having a fantasy fixation.

Ok so that was him and I don’t think it’s fair or wise to judge someone by your ex because they are separate individuals but my now fiance’s behavior began to make me suspicious and after all of the pain I experienced in the last relationship I sure don’t want to end up with another porn addict. At this point I checked his phone (but never checked his phone before) and (we share an account in my name) but when my fear was triggered I put an adult content block on his phone. I checked to see if he had attempted to access porn and he did in which the site also offered live webcam sex/ chat. He has a home computer and I know if he wants to access porn sites at home he can do it if he wishes but I got him the cell phone last Christmas so he could talk and text not to access porn.

I was really upset after finding he was using his phone to access porn and I’d already shared with him the pain I went through with my ex being a porn addict. Well he got furious when I confronted him about it and when I asked him why…he lied and said he attempted to access it to see if there was a block on his phone. That’s B. S. because he never had no reason to suspect there was a block on it or I would check it as I never had before. After asking him again why he said "you want to know why…because I wanted to." After that I was so mad and hurt and I took off my engagement ring and tossed it to him. I started crying and I tried to explain to him his past behavior and recent behavior caused me to check it. He took the ring and started to leave and I asked him for it back. He gave it back but he didn’t call me for 3 days. The next day he called and we talked and I thought we worked things out…eventually he began to say he loved me too and continued to do so for a few months up until November. Since then he’s only said it back a couple of times and so I began to worry so last night I told him I noticed he stopped saying he loved me back and I asked him if his feelings had changed and after pausing he said yes his feelings had changed and I asked him why and to my surprise he says " do you remember giving me the ring back?", I said yes and explained to him again why and pointed out that I also asked for it back and he said "do you remember why" and I said yes because he stopped saying he loved me, he never complimented yet bragged to me about other women instead and he said "yeah you also checked my phone and had a block on it" and he said well…since then….my feelings have changed. I asked him if he still wanted to marry me and he said " I’m not sure."

The incident he brought up last night happened months ago and as far as I was concerned and also thought that it was water under the bridge. He’s been coming over every weekend, spending holidays with me, showing affection and of course we’ve continued to be intimate.

I’m just confused. How could he continue in the relationship, spending every weekend with me and holidays and having sex if his feelings have changed and he’s not sure if he wants to marry me.

And why is he still holding it against me checking and blocking his phone. If porn isn’t that important to him and he’s not an addict as he says then why is he still angry about it?

Well, the first stuff you mention is not that serious. Yes, we guys do tend to view our choice to be with someone as an ongoing compliment. And, complimenting women we see on TV, well, we do tend to know that that’s a different kind of fantasy. We’re not doing it to contrast with the woman we’re with, anymore than when she swoons over a studly male actor is a diss at us.

Now, porn. Well, young guys like it. It’s very available, and it is exciting. It’s no worse than with women who read a lot of Cosmo or home decorating (Some call that ‘home porn’) stuff. What turns men and women on *in the abstract* is very different, due to, well, evolution. Men are turned on by the appearance of reproductive capability in women, so curves, nice hips and boobs, all that says to our hindbrain ‘I am ready to breed with YOU!’. And, women are turned on by men who can bring resources to the table, to help care for the babies upbringing that will come.

Here’s another area that millions of women desperately need to learn about us men; DON’T play the Ultimate Relationship Ends Card until you MEAN it, and that means, you only ever get to play that card ONCE. In your case, it was the removal and tossing of your ring. That was a statement to him that you ARE explicitly rejecting him RIGHT then and there. So, when a woman Goes There, she cannot expect that his feelings are going to stay all lovey dovey. He’s just been given the Untimate I Don’t Want YOU message. Men don’t tend to stay in love with women who just did that.

There are a lot of ways to Fight Fair, and to work out an issue in dispute WITHOUT playing the This Relationship Is OVER Card. You could have stuck to that sort of argument, but you went Nuclear.

Now, he has to REALLY consider that a woman who will do that BEFORE the wedding will do that afterwards, and that when that happens, it’s going to HURT him a lot MORE.

So sorry, what he did wasn’t good, but you pressed the Self Destruct Button…

I can’t find any site online about relationship advice for men. Like if I Google "Man having doubts about girlfriend/wife", the searches reverse with titles like "Woman/Girlfriend having doubts".

And I can’t find any question on here about men having doubts about their relationship. Most of the questions and answers regarding relationship doubts are told from a female’s perspective!

http://www.askmen.com/dating/

You’re welcome

I’ve never dated one. What is the relationship like and how is it in the bedroom?

CAPRICORN – The Go-Getter
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny.. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimists. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly y at times. Hold grudges… Like competition. . Get what they want.

Basically, i want to read a book on relationships with male and females written by women like on the power of men. Or
a book on women in a abusive relationship or been raped
or sexual fantasies
I need to read one from each sort of topic for a project im doing. can someone recommed please.

anything about j. edgar hoover… O.o

Ok I’m indecisive when it comes 2 myself so I need some advice r suggestions no mean comments unless helpful. I’m 30 no kids yet been with a guy for 4 yrs. Hes sweet kind & a great friend he has 2 kids that I love dearly n vice versa. He propose to me a yr ago. We r not n a rush to get married. His entire family loves me mom dad n two sisters n extended fam also. Well the other guy I met at 19 we been friends ever since. I haven’t contacted him since being engaged because it’s not necessary when ur committed. He respects that. Well my fiance messed up n lied to me about where he was going to be (more than once) and I found out lots of woman were there. Lies aren’t good but we r human no one is perfect but life is scary. 2 wrongs don’t make a right I know. Anyway I ran into my other "guy" no kids 31 his mom adores me nephews n brother does too. I do too! So he’s been their for me when I moved I had trouble with my fam he let me live with him n his mom I was 24 at the time ( his mom is sick he takes care of her) Told me about guys and how they view things andthat he wasn’t ready I respect that b honest up front. So I spoke with him recently he says he misses me n would love to see me. I know he’s a good friend he gave me advice and said give the other guy a chance but if it fails he will b there for me n won’t rush. He just want to see me. See I love them both they have great potential n loving hearts. I’m not in love because I know that means nothing could change my heart about the person I would b in love with I was in love once. I have strong love for both. I’m just confused as to what should I do how to go about choosing. They have the same type of job and have plenty of time for me. Both handsome tall and intelligent book smart n street smart. What would you guys do?!?! Help!!!! I’m ready to build a family n start my life. Excuse this text ( the writing) I did this from my phone not my PC.
Lol nope I know u don’t know me I shorten my first and last name for my screen name. If u know my full name then u know me

Bri, tell me it isnt true, you didnt think I would find you on here? Your screen name is your real name, I cant believe this… were done, done…

umm… Brianna Tatelman?

I am not really bothered by porn use if he is just getting off from watching two people have sex (in other words, if it’s purely visual). However the idea of a boyfriend masturbating to thoughts of him having sex with the women in the video really hurts and feels like a form of cheating to me.

I’m in a relationship now and I can’t watch porn. I start thinking about my girlfriend and feel that it’s wrong to see other women naked and having sex. I’m only 16 too.

I have not been in a relationship in over a year. Her and I have been dating for about a week now. Things are going great and I want things to keep being awesome. What is some great advice yall can give me?

Girls like little things. Little notes, flowers, text messages, cute voicemails, opening doors. As long as you don’t ever stop doing those things your golden. No girl wants the world she just wants to be treated like shes special, these little things help accomplish that. They let her know you care

Like, many men are okay with just having a short term fling or sexual relationship with women, not marry them or anything. However, if women refuse to marry, men think there’s somethign wrong with them and thus, kind of condescend them. Why the double standards and hypocrisy?
Men have no trouble using women for sex(as women use men for sex too), but if women say they don;t ever want to marry in life, men look down upon them and feel they should marry. Why the double standards?

There’s 1001 answers to this question, it all depends on the person you ask.
Some would say men haven’t evolved much from the caveman days when men were hunter-gatherers and one-on-one relationships didn’t exist. Cavemen tried gathering as many women as they could, some would suggest this was a way to ensure the human race would continue instead of dying out like the dinosaurs.
Conversely there is a stigma attached to a woman that has too many relationships or doesn’t want one man and men while wanting many women don’t approve of women wanting many men.
Just a short while ago a married woman was mere property with no right to vote or own land etc in North America, a practice still maintained in some third world countries.
The answer is quite simply life and society is full of double standards of which there is no easy answer for past people’s thought process changing… which given time it does

Between men’s and women’s magezines i’ve read, I’ve noticed a common trend on how they tackle relationship advice:

Men’s: "How do become a real man, and therefore worthy of the woman"
Women: "How to weed through guys and find the one who are worth your time"

It’s like, both magezines assume guys aren’t worthy of women until they prove otherwise, almost like they are of higher class and men need to "get up to their level".

Sure, the women’s magezines talk about fashion and weight-loss, but even if guys actually cared how the colors matched between your blouse and your skirt, that’s still only covering the superficial, and making it seem even MORE like guys are emotionally detached and shallow horn-dogs.

Plus, fashion is a lot of what women do for each other, and slimming down is countering the abundance of obesity and heart disease.

Is what I haven’t seen a lot of is "Are you spending enough quality time with your guy?", or "How to help your guys feel like he means the world to you". This is the stuff I hear good girls in relationships talk about. What they can do for each other and how to communicate their needs and receive without judging or getting upset.

I mean, this is one of the reasons I used to feel that relationships were about the guy providing everything in exchange for the girl not leaving or calling him a jerk.

A lot of relationship problems arise from this. Everyone focuses on if the girl’s needs are met and the guy’s needs are ignored, resulting in a drastic loss of motivation from the guy.

Is this just an optical illusion, or some sort of "remembering the stuff that hit me hardest?", or does anyone else notice this trend as well?

Magazines publish nonsense that will sell copies…