Been ‘dating’ this guy for 2 yrs. Mostly we do the ‘deed’, and maybe grab dinner or hang here and there. We used to once a week, now it is more like 2x month. He has stated over and over, he does NOT want a relationship. But he says things like "I love you" when he is drunk, and he has told me, and my best friend that I am the "perfect" girl in every way, but he just does not want anything more at this point in his life. He is 34, I am 28. He says he loves being single. When we are together, we have so much fun. We laugh, we have intelligent coversation, good sex, ect…
So what is really going on in his head? It’s hard, cause I have feelings for him. I am smart enough to know though, if it has not happened now, it never will.
So questions are: What is your feedback on the situation in general, and is there anything I can do?
Detailed answers, please. 10 pts for grabs.
if you want my honest opinion! when hes saying he loves you, thats the beer talking. does he say it when hes sober?, i cant see no future for you with this guy. i dont want to upset you(i wouldnt do nothing to hurt you)but it sounds to me like all hes after is some nooky. if hes a alcoholic, there wouldnt be no future for you, thats if he is one. if he doesnt want a relationship by this time, then its clear he doesnt want 1. best thing for you to do, is find someone else.
I know that the same phenomenon also occurs with men sometimes being attacted to women in committed relationships……..but generally speaking, it’s more common in women. Why is it that they’re more interested (generally) in men in relationships, than they are in single men?
it is safe, he has as much to lose as she does.
the good single men are all accounted for pretty early.
Askmen.com has helped a lot with dating, but now I need something geared towards being in a relationship already. (no, I’m not married) All the sites I can google and yahoo myself just have a dozen or so short articles by people trying to sell books.
And no, I’m not married
how would you guys like to be loved?how you you like your futur/girl or wife to treat you?
It is different for EVERYONE. Some people like to be distanced from their partner and need their space, others like to be smothered.
When you enter a relationship you needn’t know this much until you’ve actually been seeing them for a while. Then you’d try to find out what they want in a relationship. Most relationships don’t work because what people actually want from a relationship differs. Don’t confront this too soon, but don’t leave it too late either.
Apart from what most women mainly from men is children (which is a turn off because I never want kids) and money, what do they really expect from men when entering a relationship?
I don’t want kids, never have. I’m sure my biological clock was never wound. I don’t care for diamonds or shiny baubles. You could steal flowers from the neighbors garden, as long as they don’t see you i won’t care. (I like a gamer too :D)
Anyhow..women want someone to understand them. Someone they can trust.
An honest, faithful, funny guy that is their best friend and lover, who will make them feel safe and loved.
I am falling in love with a wonderful man, he’s 47, I’m 41. I know that he knows how I feel and he knows that I have love for him. But I know that my feeling are deeper than his. I’m a very attentive person, very affectionate, and passionate. He is kind of stand offish, but not only to me, to everyone. I know that he has a big heart because I can feel it. What I need advice with is how do I deal with a relationship where I may always love him more than he loves me…and will he ever love me or just always care deeply? I am just afraid of being hurt, as I’m sure you can all understand. Please and thank you.
if you have to ask, "how do I deal with a relationship where I may always love him more than he loves me…and will he ever love me or just always care deeply?", that relationship isn’t the one you want. You can hang on hoping he will someday love you and eventually you’ll get your heart broken or you can take control of your own life and find someone who DOES care about you.