Its long, sorry…
Some background information:
I’m 35, she’s 28. She has 3 kids that aren’t mine. We’ve been dating for 2 months… we broke up once for 2 days until i called her and we got back together… we both said we were miserable and couldn’t live without the other.
* we fell in love fast, too fast… less than a week.
* she’s already stated that she wants to marry me
* she thinks I’m perfect and ask me what’s the catch… she knows im not perfect but says perfect for her
* she is an ex stripper, dislikes her dad (issues there i know!) hates men? but loves me huh?
*she doesn’t work and stays up all night… i work full time construction and get up at 6 everyday… ive spent many sleepless nights catering to her needs
* she’s bi polar and also takes adderal. Her moods are insane and i really cannot handle the swings.
*basically i walk on eggshells for her because im an alpha male and any dominance out of me just ticks her off… she wants to be the boss (FRICTION)… i want a partnership
* i have given her all my heart, all my time, attention, she does not return the same… not even close
** the kicker here is she claims to be honest and that is her biggest quality… but she talks a good game and doesn’t back it up with action.
* she doesn’t cheat but she has like 2 ex husbands and a few ex boyfriends that she likes to hang on to… ya know in case she needs to call one up later if her current boyfriend don’t work out.
* she talks to an ex on facebook everyday which i find annoying because i don’t even talk to her everyday. he lied to her, so she wants nothing to do relationship-wise with him, but she’s still friends????
* she thinks we were meant to be, soulmates, she thinks we are the same person, we think alike.
*she so shifty and goes from wanting to marry me one day to not talking to me for the next 3 days and avoiding me
MY QUESTION IS…. WHY SHOULD I STAY WITH HER OR LEAVE HER ALL BECAUSE OF LOVE.?
.. SHE MAKES ME FEEL SO BAD ALMOST DAILY. SHE MAKES ME FEEL REALLY GOOD… BUT ALMOST NEVER.
I LOVE HER BUT I THINK AND ALL MY FRIENDS THINK I SHOULD LET HER GO. WHAT DO YOU THINK? IS IT POSSIBLE FOR HER TO ACTUALLY BE HONEST AND LOVE ME AS MUCH AS SHE SAYS SHE DOES AND HER ACTIONS PROVE OTHERWISE ?- SHE SAYS SHE HAS A HARD TIME EXPRESSING HER FEELINGS.
I’M LOST AND NEED ADVICE. EVERYTHING TELLS ME TO LET HER GO BUT THEN I THINK IF I WERE TO SET HER STRAIGHT AND IF SHE REALLY DID LOVE ME THAT MUCH IT WOULD BE WORTH IT.
SHE SAYS IF SHE LOST ME SHE WOULD BE DEVASTATED.
I’M SUPPOSEDLY THE BEST MAN SHE’S EVER MET……. AND THE ONE THAT MADE HER CHANGE FROM HER COLD SIDE THAT HAD NO FEELINGS FOR ANYONE TO HER LOVING SIDE.
SHE SAYS I AM THE ONE… SHE WRITES BLOGS ABOUT IT AND SAYS HOW GREAT I AM BUT TREATS ME LIKE CRAP ANYWAY.
SHE IS ALSO VERY REVENGEFUL AND SHE SEEMS TO ACCUSE ME OF EVERYTHING SHE DOES. OH YEAH AND SHE IS NEVER WRONG – SHE DOESN’T THINK SHE HAS DONE ANYTHING WRONG EVER IN THIS RELATIONSHIP… ITS ALL MY FAULT. I ADMIT TO HER THAT I MAKE MISTAKES AND AM NOT PERFECT, I EVEN ADMIT IT WAS MY FAULT WHEN SHE COMES AFTER ME STARTING STUFF… JUST TO END IT.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE ANYMORE.
I feel i have enogh evidence that if she is full of it… i wont be hurt if it dont work out because it wont be a surprise at all… she’s left ne a billion clues and i picked up on them all. BUT WHAT IF? WHAT IF SHE IS MY ONE TRUE LOVE? I WANT TO FIND OUT. I AM AFRAID TO LET HER GO AND NEVER FIND OUT. 2 MONTHS SHE’S STILL IN TESTING ME PHASE… MAYBE SHE’LL STOP AND SETTLE DOWN WITH ME… NO?
okay i can relate to this in one way or another.iv been with a guy for 3 years now and we have a son together im only 18 got preg at 16. just throwen that in there to explain im not old and wize. but ill tell you what 3 whole years and he cheated the 1st two and lied and probably still is. deff still lieing bout major things. he was like it in the beginning and is like it and its beginning to be the end and is still like that. ill will give him this hes VERY SLOWLY CHANGED and i mean so slowly it makes me sick. but let me explain what im saying…
If you think that you love her…or have any obligations to be with her… do it.try it? mine was pregnancy. the first 2 months for me was a breeze cuz i didnt know shit. then i slowly found out things. just like you might. and when i did i wated too long to be able to leave him. i loved him and he was gooing crazy if i mentioned it. he also blamed me for everything that he was doing and went therw periods of talking to me and periods of not. the times he wasnt was the times he was cheating. i put up with all of this and im miserable now. i cant even look at him without thinking about it. dont let it get to that . my beginning was 3 months the beginning of me realising all of this …. and let me just say it wont get better anytime soon. theres other people out there. www.plentyoffish.com whatever lol. but PLEASE dont take the shit i took or you willhave to take it forever. when she says she loves you and all this stuff she might she does in some way but obviously have some commitment problems and ex relationship problems she has to get over in order to show you that love and it might take 3 f****** years for that to happen and she still might be messing up and by that time u may have lost all ur trust in her and dont even want to be with her anymore cuz you cant be happy.
[[ sorry its the only way i can relate.]]
DONT WASTE YOUR TIME UNLESS YOU HAVE TIME TO WASTE.
ur 38 years old… your peobably wanting to settle down. so think to you want to settle down with someone you may never be absoultly happy with and spend 3 years showing them that you need to be loved or spend 3 years looking for someone whos willing to be as great or a girlfriend as you are a boyfriend and be happy forever.
allthough the obsticles make you stronger… they also make your trust in the one making them weaker.
i dont want to tell you to LEAVE her but i dont want to tell you to waste your time away
try telling her ..
your going to leave her if she dont treat u better [ or strighten up her act ] tell her even thow she says she loves you she is not proving it. tell her if shes not serious not to waste your time and break your heart. maybe try splitting up for longer and see if she changes the next tim if u have a next time of getting back together.
try 3 strikes your out.
dont waste your time.