I really wonder if I will ever feel sexually satisfied anymore.
Its been 2.5 years after we met – we got married 1 year ago — it all went down hill and I cannot get it back. This has been this way since when we got married — almost exactly to the day. We are/were very sexual people and sex was a big, fun, deal in the beginning —- then, something changed.

I have done all that I can to try to understand why/how my relationship to sex COMPLETELY changed when I got married……..my husband said his did too – but he got "over it" after a while and says he is happy with our sex life – and our marriage in general with minor issues which he has faith we will work out.

I am not happy with my sex life AT ALL. I vascilate between two extremes —-
a. I either have so much anxiety that I cannot get horny at all when it comes down to "the moment"
or
b. I WANT to get horny but I feel like I need more help than I used to — and he isn’t giving me what I need.

I have tried everything, read books, etc. — I am not on any hormonal contraceptives, I am 35, no issues — healthy, etc.

. My kind and wonderful husband — told me politely that at this point he is so frustrated that he loves me and is tired of hearing about my issues and basically doesn’t mind masturbating alone until I figure it out.

I dont’ think he understands that HE is 1/2 the problem.

I feel like when he is with me — that he is disconnected and passionless. I feel like he will perform foreplayish things if I ask — but otherwise would rather just "stick in in".
I honestly dont’ feel like the man even WANTS to touch my breasts. And when he does — I feel now that it is totally obligatory, like he is goign down a checklist of things to do. I dont’ feel like he really enjoys my body. I have told him this — he denies it — and tells me he has no idea what else to say/do to convince me….

I frankly MISS feeling like a sex object to someone. I miss feeling like someone wants to rip my clothes off and ravage me. I feel almost like why do I want to ask for him to touch me if I honestly dont’ feel like he wants it? I feel like the only way I can have sex with my husband successfully — and really feel horny is if I watch porn or read erotic stories BEFOREHAND and then just time it when he gets home.

Is this an intimacy issue? Is it me? Is it in my head? Please someone help me — I love this man, but I have to figure this out.

Advice — help? thank you so much in advance.

I think its normal actually. Men reach their sexual peak a long time before women do. In their 20’s. While women are much later on. It sounds like he wants to work with you so maybe you should try new things to the two of you. Make him feel the need to ravage you. Sexy lingerie, toys, romantic dinners. Granted he could do his share of coming up with new ideas also. There is a lot of good info out there on renewing the ravages your looking for if you look.

I know women ( being the amazing and wonder full creatures that you are ) care more about personality and connection more than looks but in general, would a physically strong woman have interest in a weaker man?

The reason I ask is because, unfortunately two of my friends and I really like the same girl, we all know it and its just a mess. I love these two friends of mine like brothers so i just hate that we are even in this situation but i cant suppress my feelings for this girl. Shes perfect in every way. even in her flaws ( if she had any ) shes perfect. Great morals , same religion , nicest girl ever, the most beautiful woman ive ever met, Sooo easy to talk too. friendly with everyone, amazing family, slightly nerdy. Shes really just the perfect girl, that dream girl you could see yourself marrying.

Physically shes about 5’8 if i was to guess id say maybe 160 pounds, i dunno maybe 150, im not good at guessing womans weight but trust me shes built and amazing.
The other guys are around 5’6 maybe 140 Lbs and 5’9 maybe 165 pounds, and im 5’9 about 195.
Guy 1 is skiiny as a rail, guy 2 is more skinny athletic looking, guy 3 ( Me )ive been into weight lifting for a couple of years and am pretty built.

not to be offensive to my two friends but Im pretty sure that she could beat them both up. What do you think in general would she be attracted to a guy that shes stronger than?
All college age

Some go against the norm but generally speaking girls like a guy who is equal or slightly taller than her.

Now… I’m going to say this very carefully because I’m not certain on its authenticity BUT I have found that when a man finds a woman "perfect in every way" she usually feels the same about him. It’s not often that happens, and I’m pretty sure you know her flaws.

Seriously I’d like the guy to be able to beat me at some point. And I’m like… 9 inches shorter than her and I’m confident I could outdo the other guys you just mentioned. You’re the only one that would give me a run for my money. I’m pretty sure she feels the same.

Do yourself a favour and raise the bar. Become her best friend. Once you have that spot secured you’ll be at her side forever.

I would love advice for her from strangers! My friends Husband left her and her 2 kids a few months ago. ( he sees the kids hes a good enough dad, for a SOB who left/blindsided his wife) He had an emotional relationship over a business trip, told her , and after lots of fights moved out. They have been married 17 years. Their kids are 13 and 8 The kicker is, as a friend I am so lost, for advice to her now I know shes in so much pain BUT!!!!!!!. She has a new Boyfriend already . What do you think? Her friends have been there for all the pain, ( with support, advice etc…) now so fast to get hooked up again?? She went from weeks ago wanting her marriage to work, to now having this man say he loves her? I worry… He is a good family man as far as I can tell, but I am worried this is bad timing, and could make everything worse for her if it doesn’t work.

Your friend really needs to take some time OUT for herself, to sort out her feelings, and start feeling good about herself first of all….While it might FEEL better for her to know she has another guy there for her to support her, she needs to open her eyes and see what is happening with this guy…..How can he possibly KNOW he loves her already in just a few weeks…..she had better be careful…..she may be jumping from the frying pan into the fire here….She need to slow down and then SLOW HIM DOWN as well….What is his big rush….doesn’t he realize that she is on the rebound here….there is something weird about a guy telling her he loves her already when she has only been without her husband for a couple of months…what is his rush…????? I don’t know hon…..it sounds like he is moving WAY too fast.
You need to be there to support her, but don’t let her rush into something with this guy way too fast….that is not what she needs right now, and what if it doesn’t work out between the two of them….she doesn’t need a second broken heart, when she isn’t even healed from the loss of her marriage yet….Tell her to tread very carefully….It sounds like you are a great friend….she is lucky to have you….(((((HUGS))))) to you…!!!!!