Ok I’m indecisive when it comes 2 myself so I need some advice r suggestions no mean comments unless helpful. I’m 30 no kids yet been with a guy for 4 yrs. Hes sweet kind & a great friend he has 2 kids that I love dearly n vice versa. He propose to me a yr ago. We r not n a rush to get married. His entire family loves me mom dad n two sisters n extended fam also. Well the other guy I met at 19 we been friends ever since. I haven’t contacted him since being engaged because it’s not necessary when ur committed. He respects that. Well my fiance messed up n lied to me about where he was going to be (more than once) and I found out lots of woman were there. Lies aren’t good but we r human no one is perfect but life is scary. 2 wrongs don’t make a right I know. Anyway I ran into my other "guy" no kids 31 his mom adores me nephews n brother does too. I do too! So he’s been their for me when I moved I had trouble with my fam he let me live with him n his mom I was 24 at the time ( his mom is sick he takes care of her) Told me about guys and how they view things andthat he wasn’t ready I respect that b honest up front. So I spoke with him recently he says he misses me n would love to see me. I know he’s a good friend he gave me advice and said give the other guy a chance but if it fails he will b there for me n won’t rush. He just want to see me. See I love them both they have great potential n loving hearts. I’m not in love because I know that means nothing could change my heart about the person I would b in love with I was in love once. I have strong love for both. I’m just confused as to what should I do how to go about choosing. They have the same type of job and have plenty of time for me. Both handsome tall and intelligent book smart n street smart. What would you guys do?!?! Help!!!! I’m ready to build a family n start my life. Excuse this text ( the writing) I did this from my phone not my PC.
Lol nope I know u don’t know me I shorten my first and last name for my screen name. If u know my full name then u know me

Bri, tell me it isnt true, you didnt think I would find you on here? Your screen name is your real name, I cant believe this… were done, done…

umm… Brianna Tatelman?

I’m 16 and would like to know something…Is it possible to be with one man for the rest of your life? Iv been with my boyfriend over a year now…His 19 which means his more mature at least…And his been my 1st (sex partner) and I’m happy that I’m finally settling down from dating…I do believe I’m not to young to be in love… I would like the public to express their feelings without saying I’m to young…I believe there’s love in any age…I just want to know if its possible to love one man for the rest of your life? Thnx in advance

Yes it is. My boyfriend and I started dating when he was 16 and I was 15. Now we are 19. We have dated for 3 1/2 years. I Iove him and he loves me. We want to get married after college. He is the only guy I ever want to be with. I know I’m the only girl he wants to be with.

I’m with a guy who loves me, we’ve been together for a couple of years now. We have spoken about marriage, kids, the whole 9 yards. Throughout our time together he has been selfish and disrespoectful a lot of times, but even so he still loves me. I’ve always tried to fix our issues but now I’m kind of tired and don’t want to try. Well, me and my first love broke up 1 yeart before I got with my guy and it was basically because we were young and going to different school. We really never fell out of love. Throughout the years we have kept in contact, He is the sweetest guy I’ve ever been with and he really loves me and wants to make me happy. If I break up with my guy, it would destroy him. He needs me, he isn’t that stable. What to do??

Leave the lame so he gets a life, his own life, together. What a loser

The one I’m with, we have been together for years now. He really loves me but has been thorugh a lot so he really doesn’t show his feelings a lot, thinks about himself a lot and doesn’t recognize his mistakes…even so, he loves me and I also do. The other one is my first love, he broke up with me when we were going to other schools. He said he felt insecure. Anyways all these years later we still keep in contact and he says he still loves me and his biggest regret was to let me go. He is VERY sweet and caring and he definatley wants to make me happy. Even though I am taken, I can’t help but miss my first love. I do love my current bf and I don’t want to hurt him, but I feel I should give it a chance with my first love. Any suggestions??

Are you willing to throw away your current love for an old love who dropped you without even trying to fix whatever the situation might have been? You have to ask yourself that question… me personally, I would not.

Also, everybody remembers their first love it is very common to over romanticize it. Just think about your next step because it could be a disaster if your not careful.

I am 47 and have been married to my husband since i was 20yo, We are from & live in Italy, together we have 4 sons & 1 daughter. Our daughter is 17 and she is the apple of my husbands eye, She is a very beautiful girl & comes from a wealthy family and uses that to her advantage, She has had many boyfriends in the past & he never approved of them and they we’re terrified to get on his bad side. Part of my husbands business is named after her, She is very use to her own way and has her father wrapped around her finger, anything she ever wanted he made sure she got, My husband has always been very protective of her, If she wears a short dress to a party, as soon as he see’s it he always disapproves of it & will imtimadate any boy who chats her up, He also has a very strong personality, can be very arrogant, you could also call him obnoxious & very outspoken as he is not afraid to say what he really feels. She has decided she wants to move to the US with her friends and my husband is furious, My husband wants her to stay in Italy and eventually marry someone from her homeland, She studied in Florence last year and he was always worried about her and sending her money. Many of her friends speak english & when my husband is talking to her when her friends are there he only talks to her in italian or in general he refuses to speak to her in English. He is a very proud man and would give her the stars if he could, there is no limit to what he gives her but our daughter is very hard to be tamed & stubborn like her father and we have had arguments about her many times, Im starting to resent his love for her & am finding myself jealous of it. Advice?

First, yes you are wrong. Second, you are not the first, will not be the last, and you are far from alone in this. It is a very common thing that happens between the child and the parent of the same sex. In a way you see the child as a younger you, the you you no longer are because you have aged. You think( and it could be true to some extent) that the spouse, your spouse also sees this once upon a time version of you and is comparing it to the everyday years older mature you. You do not feel favored in this comparison, and it makes no difference if there really is any sort of comparisong going on, you simply feel that it is.

A parent can love a child, relate to the child in a way that very often they cannot do with the spouse. By its very nature the relationship is different. What you are describing here is the way many fathers treat their daughtes as they grow up to become young women. This too is very natural and indeed is a part of his job as a father.

Don’t resent this bond. Nothing you can do about it anyway. She loves you too but in a very different way. Also remember as she becomes a young woman, her father is the model for the men she will be attracted to. She will learn how to relate to men in the way she relates to her father. My advice to you would be to recognize when you are feeling jealous. Remember that your husband loves you as he always has. Also remember that very soon the girl will get married and move out and on to her own family and you can again become the center of attention. This is the real problem, not the girl so much as you miss the attention he once paid you and to see how he puts so much on his daughter is really pointing out the lack of attention that you feel. Point this out gently to your husband. Not like " Why do you spend so much time and attention on her, What about me?" that is the prelude to a fight. Say something like, "We have so little time to spend together, I want a little more" Or sometime when the kids are not around or off to bed, plan something just a little romantic or out of the ordinary for the two of you to share. Take a walk at night. Have a glass of wine before bed, in the bedroom perhaps. Exchange that Tshirt for a sexy nighty without saying anything about it. Things like this will bring more of his attention your way and you will not feel so left out, or jealous. Try it, it works. I know, I have a daughter.

I HAVE MY BOYFRIEND BUT HE DONT HAVING TIME WITH ME HIS ALWAYS BUSY FOR HIS WORKS. IT SEEMS HE DOESNT LOVE ME ANYMORE?.WHAT WILL I DO> I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH, HE EVEN ASK ME ANYTHING MATERIALS NEED TO BUY.

Hi there.. don’t be afraid.. some boys might put their work at first and love second, is because they want to earn more money and have a brighter future to be together with you, and I know there’s a book that can solve this problem, but I’m not so sure if you’re interesting in book.. it’s called 5 Love Languages, it has helped me very very much through my relationship with my girlfriend, I’ve even gifted it to 1 of my close friend that had trouble with almost all of his ex-gf before.. I’m not sure if it helped him.. but I knew that this book helped a lot of people who had trouble in their relationship, if you doesn’t believe me, check out 5lovelanguages.net .. The book got over 800 reviews on Amazon and over 700 Five Stars rated. I hope it could help you out, because it has helped me a tons of problem in my relationship with my girlfriend.. and I definitely think this book could help anyone that’s having problem with their relationship. Give it a try.. this book worth every pennies, trust me.. =)

I sent him an email with a love poem I wrote for him.
I haven’t seen him for three years but I just want to be with him and I told him .
At first I didn’t have the guts to tell him, just wanted to be friends but I was angry at him for not saying goodby when he left, he lives in another country he replied that I was stalking him, leaving too many comments on his blog and embarassing him, all because he had someone else back then,he hasn’t answered to my email how the hell do I get out of this mess, how can men be so mean?Help what do I have to do tonmakehimlove me?

It’s tough. Find someone else?

my boyfriend and i have been dating since freshman year of high school (over 5 years). he proposed to me in my senior year, but the wedding was pushed back because of college. i am now a sophomore in theatre college, living approximately 400 miles away from him. however, we were fine up until this point.

on st. patty’s day this year, we had a big fight. he said he wanted some time off, because he said his feelings, although still romantic, had changed. he said i had changed and i wasn’t playful/sexual anymore with him. he made it clear that he was giving the most to the relationship (which is true), and that i should try to see things from his point of view. i talked him out of taking the break, and promised to help fix things. so we were ok.

however, he started acting really strange. he didn’t seem to want to talk to me, he stopped responding to my emails, and even when i started trying to plan a wedding with him, he seemed uninterested.

he broke up with me two days ago. he wasn’t very clear why. it started because i brought up his strange behavior. i asked why he was being so distant. that’s when he told me he really needed some time off. he said he wanted something more stable… and i’m not stable because i’m an actress and acting for a living can be spastic he said he didn’t know whether a relationship with me was what he wanted. so… i’m now single.

i told him not to talk to me unless two things happened: 1) he found someone else and i need to move on, or 2) he changed his mind and wants to be with me. he sent me an IM last night asking me if i was OK. we talked for a bit, and he said he still loves me and is in love with me, but he doesn’t know what he wants in his future. he said he sees a romantic future with me, but he’s not sure that’s what he wants right now. so he’s still considering "us" but wants to weigh his options.

i’m really hoping he changes his mind. but what do you think is going on inside his mind? is it just the distance that’s killing us? has he found someone new? has he fallen out of love with me? do i need to change?

i know it may irritate/confuse a lot of people, but i’m just going to say this: he means so much to me, that i would quit school, quit acting, and come home right now if it meant saving our relationship. i would change myself to be with him. maybe that makes him unworthy of my attention, but that’s OK with me. i love this man so much. he is more than half of me. i guess what i’m trying to say is that i’m so shocked and confused, b/c this really came out of nowhere, and i’m hoping to find that magic key that will fix things. i’ve already gone through the stages of grief and denial, and i know i’m still influenced by my emotions. but i’m really in love with him, and i know in my soul that he is what i want and need. so please, PLEASE, don’t lecture me on having respect for myself and "you don’t need a man to be happy." he is what i want, and that’s not going away. please just help me figure out what is motivating his behavior.

thank you, and sorry for the novel.

Don’t really have a lot of idea’s on this one…. Maybe its because you live 400 miles away. Did you visit him often? Maybe he missed you, but he couldn’t bear it, so he broke things off with you in an attempt to stop missing you; in a way of just sealing you off. Try visiting him, and actually TALKING physically…. IM and facebook chat are NOT good for this type of thing. You and him need to see face to face to try and sort out the problem. If you can’t visit him, at least use skype.
Hope I helped… Best of luck with your situation

I Know This Seems Silly To Ask On A Website Like This, But I Really Need Some Advice And Can’t Really Talk To Anyone About This. In November 2010, I Started Talking To A Guy In My Town. He’s Almost 32 And I’m Almost 20. We Had Many Dates And They Was All Enjoyable And Very Great. He Would Always Treat Me So Special, Open Doors, In The Mall He Acted Like Me And Him Was The Only 2 In Existence, Just A Real Sweetie. After A About 5-6 Dates He Told Me He Loved Me. In The Beginning, I Told Him I Wanted To Be Friends But As Time Progressed I Started Gaining Real Feelings For Him. We Still Talk But We Haven’t Went Out Since Christmas, Which He Does Work 12 Hours Everyday And I Go To School. He Has Told Me He Loves Me.. Again, But I’m Not So Sure. I’ve Never Been In A Relationship With A Man His Age And I Don’t Think I’ve Ever Been In Love.. But I Can’t Get This Man Out Of My Head. I’ve Tried To Explain To Him How I Feel Via Text, But It Just Doesn’t Come Out Right. I Feel That It’s Best To Just Put My Feelings Aside And Move On, But I Cannot Stop Thinking About Him. I Don’t Know What Else To Do.
More Info: Since We Was Never Actually Dating, Me And Him Kept It Honest. I Told Him That I Had Slept With 1 Guy Since We Had Been Talking, And He Told Me He Had Been Spending Time With Another Girl In Jan. 2011, And I Was A Little Childish And Got A Little Upset, And He Then Quit. I Don’t Honestly Know If He’s Seeing Someone Right Now Or Not.. We Haven’t Spoke About That, But Since We Haven’t Been Out I Feel That He Has. I Haven’t Moved On Yet, Which I Do Speak With Other Guys, But He Never Seems To Leave My Mind. I Feel Obsessed And I’ve Tried Everything I Can To Forget Him. These Feelings Are Not Infatuation, Nor Lust.. I Feel Like I May Really Love Him, Maybe Not Truly In Love Because It’s So Soon, But I Do Love This Man. I Know He Did Mention Me Being So Young, Maybe That Could Be The Problem? Idk, I Just Need Some Advice Because I Feel SO Stupid!

Please, Don’t Say Anything Smart. You Do Not Have To Respond To My Question, But All Serious Advice Would Be Appreciated.

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and have weighed this situation in your head.

I think that you should ask him out for coffee [not dinner or a movie]. I believe that he wanted a relationship with you, but because of your lack of response to his "I Love You", he continued to date to protect his heart. Go to coffee with him, sit down and tell him how you feel about him. Let him know that you enjoy the time that you spend together and miss him when your apart. See what he has to say. If he responds by saying that he loves you, ask him if he is thinking that he would like to have an exclusive dating relationship with you to see where this may go. If he says "YES" then ask him to make the commitment to you – to ask you to be his lady ‘exclusively’ in a real relationship. If he says nothing, then its time to move on. If he hems and haws, then it’s time for you to move on [don't push it just - move on with your life]. If he says that he has been seeing someone else and wants to let her go and build something with you, tell him to close that chapter quickly [never ask for details or questions cuz he is single] and to make the move to a commitment with you. If he agrees, give him 1-2 weeks [max] to close the loop with whomever he was seeing [let him know that you will only wait a wk or 2 for him to close that chapter]. You can’t get mad since you were not in a committed relationship with him. If after 2 wks he hasn’t committed, then move on.

CONTROLLING EMOTIONS
As for the age things, here is a little tip. When we women are young, we let our emotions rule us and we lash out without thinking things through. Handling our emotions comes with age and usually we have it under control by our mid thirties. Until then they can rule & unfortunately ruin things if we don’t watch out. In the future, if something with him or other people bothers you and your emotions rise, calm yourself down and wait til your alone to deal with yourself [often our emotions make us irrational and we need to learn to deal with our emotions to better deal with the situation]. When you are alone, get a sheet of paper and write out all of the facts. Not what your brain is saying, not what your friends are saying. Write out all the facts and examine them. Never ever respond to a situation when you are in anger – ya can’t take that back hurtful words even when you say "I’m sorry". Never ever send an email or text when you are angry. If you must, ‘hand write’ your angry letter and sleep with it under your pillow. Wait 24-48 hours re-read the letter then throw it away. Make a personal rule that you will NEVER send an email, text, leave a mean voicemail, curse someone out or delete stuff for 10 days after the initial thing that upset you occurs. Wait 10 days to make any kind of response. This seems crazy – YES – but you avoid a lot of antics that occur due to emotions which always get us in trouble. You avoid making mistakes that can’t be taken back. If your in the midst of something that makes you angry remove yourself and calm allll the way down.

Hope this helped some.
((HUGS))

need help trying to figure out which one of these guys like me:
Guy #1-Asks about me through other people, for example,through my immediate co-worker George, and,through another manager-he asks"So how are you guys doing over there",he says that everytime he talks to my co-worker George, and everyone else for that matter.He’s also called up to my job three times asking for my whereabouts and claiming that he wanted to meet me, but he never showed. i called himto chat, we talked for over two hours, and he Told me I can definetly call him anytime. And Every time I see him,he always looks in my eyes, just stares of in space at me,but never speaks.There were two occassions were I was in the office, he did not want to come into the office while I was there which was weird
Guy#2
Mostly talks to me over the phone,very friendly,he told me one time,"Girl don’t look at me like that, you’ll get me in trouble". He Jokes and laughs with me alot.Used to call me for little things, like schdueling and payroll.Refused to interact with me, there was numerous occasions were upper management would ask him to drop off stuff to me,or meet with me to explain something,and he would either make up an excuse,or drop whatever paperwork with another co-worker.Another thing is the few times I call him for overtime,he gives very short answers..and he hangs up.
The other day, he called up to my job, to say hi to my co-worker George,.and the thing is George has only met this guy twice, so they don’t know each other at all really(so I thought that was weird)and he asked him, if he wanted to talk to me, so when I got on the phone with him,.he didn;t really say much, he said he just called to see how we were doing.
And the thing is These two guys are very good friends..:)

I could say the first guy is in love with you but he is shy, that`s what i understand from what you say. The other guy looks like he just like you and he probably has more experience in girls . That`s what i believe things could be different out there