I am divorced with a 13 year old son, My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now and we have a beautiful baby girl. My boyfriend is ill and is very depressed, not only about his illness, but his employment issues as well. I am trying to be the glue to hold our relationship together, but he is pulling away fast. At the moment we are not living together, but I am in the process of purchasing a home for us, I love him, but please give me advice on loving a depressed man, all the research I have done is either not working or bringing me down with him. I want to be a family… help!

It is hard to be both optimistic and realistic, but that is the best advice I have. Talk to him, make him laugh, take care of him, encourage him. It is a hrad balance, but make sure you don’t baby him, because he needs to come out on the other side of this the same or a stronger man than before.
And I would advise you not to buy a home until you are married.

Some men have trouble finding love/sex in their lives, and they are told such stupid things as "wait for the right person to arrive", "the right person will arrive some day", etc. No, it won’t. When it comes to men, they can’t "wait", they have to LOOK for the right person, because things don’t work the same for men as they do for women. Not only that, but I see virgin males on here who want help losing their virginity, and women ATTACK them just for wanting to fulfill a natural human desire. They say things such as "if all you want is sex, you don’t deserve a woman" and other ridiculous comments, when these very same women probably all lost their virginities at a young age just for being women and having it easy. I’m by no means complaining that women have it easier than men; what I am complaining about is men trying to get help and women attack them like they’re evil just for wanting sex, as well as giving them bad "don’t worry, eventually someone will arrive" advice.
The question is why do they do it?
That’s funny Philosopher, I myself prefer dating women in Mexico for that very reason! Here in the US any and all forms of masculine behavior get turned into "sexual harassment". Can’t we be men anymore without having to worry about losing our jobs? We can’t even tell a girl her dress looks good on her without worrying about her being offended!

Many women are delusional and try to rationalize certain situations. They lack a basic understanding of reality. It’s easy for a woman, because a woman knows that men are just going to approach her and if she doesn’t feel that instant rush, spark, gratifying feeling she might reject, or blow the guy off. They want that instant connection with out putting any work in on creating that connection. Many woman don’t understand that if you give someone a chance and get to know that person you might actually find yourself caring deeply for that other person. Women don’t understand, or appreciate the effort that guys put in when trying to win someone over. Have you ever heard of a woman complain that if the guy doesn’t approach her then he is intimidated and a coward. Many women are hypocrites, because they have no idea what it is actually like to approach and ask someone out. Women are a lot more judgmental then guys are. Woman will jump to conclusions about a guy in the first second of meeting that all he wants is sex, or is a jerk, creep, whatever else when he actually wants to get to know her for her and could possible be the best thing that ever happened to her. Woman tend to stereotype guys. There are a lot of guys that are truly uncaring and cruel and just want sex, but woman tend to lump all guys the same. They fall for the same guy over and over and complain that all guys are the same. The glass ceiling effect is not only in the business world, but also for women in the dating world. I don’t want to sound as if I am ranting, because everything I wrote is purely from an observational point on watching people in action. To sum everything up women give bad advice, because they just don’t realize, nor know any better.

OK I really like this older guy he is 8 years older than me. I think he likes me to but everyone is constantly pointing out the age gap and I think he feels he can’t love me so he pushes himself away, but when we are together it is like a click happens and we are our only worlds. I am willing to wait a few years for him but I need him in my life. HELP PLEASE
and if you know any good songs about a guy who loves an younger girl or a girl who loves an older guy I would love to hera them!

well my parents are 10 years apart in age and age doest matter he could be 8 years younger than you and it wouldnt matter as long as you love eachother so go for it and dont worrybout wat evry1 else says

I hope someone can point me in the right direction as i have a huge confusing dilema.

I need to make a choice between 2 men.

Man 1 i have been seeing for 4 and a half years, he makes me laugh and feel good and he is very attractive to look at and i still fancy him after this long.
He is quite lazy, cant realy handle his drink to well ( not abusive just an idiot when drunk) quite un ambitious, quite selfish … there are lots of little niggles someof which he is actualy changing and improoving on. I do love him although i have broken up with him a number of times but always come back. I know he loves me but can often be quite aloof and unresponsive ( although he can also be very loving etc)
I broke up with him in dec last year, we continued to see each other as if nothing was changed, in jan i said i wanted to get back together … he said no, he didnt know what he wanted, i was upset and we continued seeing each other and havng sex but noy boyf/girf i would get upset every now and then and ask to get back together and he would say he didnt know ( he says this was becasue he was scared i would leave him again) … anyway now he says he wants me back for good…

However i have now been seeing man 2 for 3 months

Man 2 is lovely, he treats me like a princess, takes me out al the time etc, he is fun and friendly, we get on amazingly and its like we have known each other for a long time, he has great friends and family ( man 2 doesnt) he gets on with anyone and everyone inc my friends, hes very hardworking and wants me to move in with him and look after me , he thinks the world of me and says he loves me and i feel i could also love him if it wasnt for man1. The one thing against him is that i dont fancy him to look at and he doesnt make me laugh like man 1 … he does however have a big **** and is very very good in bed ( where as man 1 isnt)

But man 1 was not only my boyf but has become my best friend and i will loose him completly if i go with man 2.

The thought of seeing or hearing about man 1 with another woman makes me feel sick to the stomouch …..

Am i holding on becasue ive been with him almost 5 years and he is my security .. and so scared of letting go..or not feeling love like i did for him with man 2 ….. arrrrgh

Also i dont want to hurt anyone and im going to so hate myself for that.

i feelmi want to settle down, im 29, and makea home and maybe have kids soon … this wont happen with man1 as there wud not be enugh money and he doesnt want that now, man 2 would.

so its man 1 who i love, but who can annoy the crapouta me, make me laugh and sparkle, but no goodin bed, lazy and low prospects but getting better etc and very good looking or

man 2 not good looking, but great in bed still fancy him, great future prospects, treats me amazingly, get on so so well … but with him i will loose my best mate man 2.

Advice please!!!!!
1 day ago – 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
Just wanted to add that i didnt cheat, i waited for 6 months for man 1 to say he wanted to be with me again .. but after 4 i thought f8ck it and went on a date with man 2.

Also man 1 is getting better and trying more .. but yes there will be no chance of having kids for maybe another 4 years and we will struggle ans i will have to work and not do the things i hope for .. where as with man 2 i will and can
1 day ago

Also man 1 doesnt realy have many other friends he is a bit of a loner ( apart from me) we dont really socialise with others . Man 2 is the oposite ans i love that, i want to have friends and socialise together etc man 1 says he will change but i dont think its that easy and he is pretty set in his ways.
1 day ago

I do love man 1, if i didnt it would be an easy choice. I feel like i will loose a part of me if i cant spend time with him anymore ..
15 seconds ago

this is almost the exact same thing going on with me. except in my situation i am guy #2.

it wasn’t meant to be with guy #1 and you should definitely choose guy #2.

i actually just asked a question about it as well. here is the link.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090619103013AAKqX1O&r=w

maybe it will help to read the thoughts of a guy in a similar situation.

This morning I text messaged my guy friend we have been involved for about five months.Anyhow, I text messaged him from my other phone (the number which he does not have)which is a (510) area code-san francisco bay area number, we both live in la, so I text messaged him "Good morning" he replies "Good morning to you" I text him back "Thank You baby " he replies.."What do you have plan for today" I reply "Nothing much" keep in mind all this time he does not ask me who I am..so he says"I’m just getting up, what time is it" "I’m like did you party too much last night he says yea I did, then I ask him "Do you remember me, I mean do you even know who you are talking too " He says "Yeah I remember meeting you at the bar, you were telling me you were new to nyc, but i dont remember your name, because i had alot of drinks"..I reply ‘Wron, wrong, you are such a player lose my number" so after he gets the text, he calls me back to back like five times, then text messages me "I’m sorry for being wrong" but then the weird thing is even after he apologizes he never asks me who I am..which is so weird,..I mean why would he apologize to someone or something when he doesnt even know who he was really talking too then on top of that my area code is from california, so I call him a few hours later to talk to him, he picks up, and tells me in new york and he’ll call me when he gets back, does any of this makes sense, why wouldnt he ask me that does any of this make sense to you?

If you need advice from a guy, you can go to Frenzoo. There will be an advice session for girls and guys where you get talk to a guy and ask him about any personal problems, on Thursday 10 November 10:00 pm – 12:00 pm (EST. Time).

Ive been friends with this guy for almost 8 years now. Ive dated a couple guys since ive known him but he hasnt. He has low self esteem because hes in a wheelchair and paralized from the waist down and doesnt feel comfy approaching girls. Anyways, halfway through our friendship he admitted to falling in love /w me. We live in seperate states but have visited each other over the years ALOT. We know each other inside and out, have laughed and cried together. I know his family well and he knows mine. I was his first girl since he was paralized thats hes been intimate with. Were both in our lower 30s but he had his accident right out of high school. I love this man with all my heart soul. I admitted to him after my last break up that I was falling in love with him too. So it was official a year and a half ago that we were dating and he was SO HAPPY because hes wanted to be /w me for so long Last year he lost a family member to cancer. He got very distant and one day told me that he found
someone else. This came out of no where and of course has devastated me because I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We are still in contact, we have phone sex still like once a week sometimes more. We have done that alot over the years when we werent able to see each other. Why do you think hes keeping me around if hes /w someone else? Do u think I have a chance down the line. He knows im in love with him, he knows i would drop everything to move there
Maybe a male could answer this, do you ever keep an ex around in case it doesnt work out /w your present one? Am i being put on the back burner in case?
p.s. only reason he left me was because he couldnt handle the distance and being away from me.
You never experienced a love like this then if you can say true love doesnt exist.

yes,Gwenith>>in your problem u must know two things(somebody you love)and (somebody you like)and the different between those two is>>infront of the person you love him,your heart beats farster,but infront of the person you like him,u get happy.Also infront of person u love him,u can’t say everthing in your mind and in the person u like him u can.The feeling of love start from the eyes and feeling of the(like)starting from the ears.So,if u stop liking a person u used to like,all u need to do is cover your ears.But if u try to close your eyes,love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever.

3 years we were actually together for less then a year and we broke up but continued to see each other , we broke up because all we did was argue and every time we argued it some how or another was my fault no mater what it was i was in the wrong . and for awhile he wouldn’t make a commitment to me such as moving in w me or more well any ways last nite we got in to an argument becuz i have a myspace page witch is ridicules because were not even together and he has no right to be tripping on me like that .im really at the point ware im about to cut him loose ,granted he is there for me when i need him and hes good with my kids but he is really immature and does stuff that drive me crazy like mock me or switch my words around when im talking , like if i say something say for instance i wanna go to the movies he copy me and say bla blana blo do bovies or something stupid like that and really gets on my nerves and when i get mad he’ll be like calm down and tell me im up tight or some more **** . i dont know what to do . i tried talking to him and his excuse is that he ben that way forever so why should he change . he gets on my god dam nerves . one more example is one time when i was leaving his house he said get out of here hoodrat i got really mad he says hes playing around and could not get why i was mad it turned into a big arguement and it was my fault according to him .. someone give me some input please
wow !!!!! ok answers comunity no need to be rude

Why are you waisting your time with this man? you have kids to think of,to give them and yourself a happy life.You need to close one door before you can open another.Do yourself and the kids a favor and close the door for a better one to open.If you don’t close it, another wont open.

I have been in a relationship for 10 years and love my man very much.
And then, I worked at a company and got to know my employer real well. He was so nice and funny and we had a lot in common (which is unusual due to our age difference)
I then left this employment for a few reasons but mostly because I developed strong feelings for him. It became very difficult for me to face him everyday. He’s also married with children.

I visited him one day and we got talking and then I revealed my feelings to him. He seemed amazed that I felt that way. We then began to talk on the phone, even had lunch together. He’s was very attracted to me BUT he said that he’s AFRAID to fall in love with me.
We promised to keep the situation between the 2 of us (to avoid rumors), and he then exposes our situation to a gossipy co-worker.
I was very angry and contacted him about it.
He said that he was AFRAID to be around me and that we shouldn’t have any more contact… ever.

What does this mean? Please Help!

It means, he doesn’t want to get in trouble. Sounds like he likes you and he might do something that he’ll regret if he’s near you He doesn’t want to get into a relationship with you because he is a married man. Him exposing your situation to a co-work could be just needing advise. He doesn’t want to put himself in a situation where you and him get into this affair, and then he’ll get caught by his wife and then there goes the marriage, next comes divorce, lose half of everything he owns , child support and alimony etc…or he doesn’t want to lead you on and then turns into some FATAL ATTRACTION kind of thing (not saying you’re that kind of peron). Anyways, you’re in a relationship with a single man that you love, why blow it? Stay away from him, that’s what he asked, right?

Good Luck

O.k. Here’s da story… Im in love with 2 men completley and totally .Here’s how this happened. One is my husband who i have bf with since middle school we was married a little over a year when i left him and started filiing for divorce because of all the fighting and he got me arrested for his "bad habits" wrong place wrong time kinda thing we both have pending charges now and he wouldnt keep a job so when i was filing for divorce me and my ex whom i have been bf with for a while bout 4 -5 yrs now and i am comepley in love with him to and i guess my husband now wants me back hes got a good steady job and hes showing hes trying and i went to church and prayed for peace before me and my husband started talking again for peace about the divorce and i end up n this situation. HELP! what to do i love my bf and my *seperated* husband and i don’t know what to say and advice i dont know what my heart tells me but i love them both ..Advice. and what to say to the one man who get "unlucky" how to tell him with out hurting him.HELP!

Good grief…you just confused the heck out of me!

Okay so I am 15, and a sophomore… At my school their are 2 guys that i REALLYYYYYYYY LIKE. One’s name is Derek(not real name) he is a senior, but we started talking when he was a junior and I was a freshman and we met through his sister, she cheerleads with me and were friends but his sister didnt know that me and Derek texted, me and him told eachother everything, things that i didnt even tell my best friends (weird, i know) so we talked then we stopped talking for a while, now were talking as of this year, and whenever i see him in school i look down (i get nervous, i get butterflies when I think about him and I am SO NOT SHY ha i am actually super obnoxious and for some reason i feel weird talking to him and i have ben insecurse because i have this like dry skin patch on my chin so i try to look down and hide m face, but thats not the only reason why i dont talk to him in school…… What should I do? Am I in love…

I THINK I LOVE 2 MEN………

So this other kid I think i might be in love with his name is Matt(not real name) He is a freshman (younger then me) and I met him and he is the sweetest guy but he is dating a sophomore, whenever i text him i always get the last word, so it sucks, i always text him first, should i wait till he texts me? we flirt alot too. But the only bad thing is that he’s younger but i cant stop thinking about him.. i am CONSTANTLY thinking about him.. When i like someone, i fall deep and I cant get over him, i wish i could but he is PERFECT. He is all I EVER think about and I wish he was just older, but i get butterflies when i think about him and ugh idk what to do…

Who do you think I like more? Help! What would you do? Anyone in the same position?

i wouldnt call it love yet. dry patch, bring lotion or go to skin therapist. One dude is abuut to graduate, leave him alone. Be friends & if its meant to be he’ll ask u out. Younger guy isnt single so dont mess that up. Stop bein shy about these two guys. Go for someone in ur grade if anything. Same thing i sed for senior goes for freshmeat/ freshman. If either like u be urself & let them ask u out. U gotta really wanna get to know a person & all that junk to know if its love. Think only the best about a guy & daydream about them. Not ashamed or anything. I’ve loved my bf since 8th when i talked to him on the fone. This is our 3rd time goin out & nothings gonna break us up.