umm… Brianna Tatelman?

Also, everybody remembers their first love it is very common to over romanticize it. Just think about your next step because it could be a disaster if your not careful.

A parent can love a child, relate to the child in a way that very often they cannot do with the spouse. By its very nature the relationship is different. What you are describing here is the way many fathers treat their daughtes as they grow up to become young women. This too is very natural and indeed is a part of his job as a father.

Don’t resent this bond. Nothing you can do about it anyway. She loves you too but in a very different way. Also remember as she becomes a young woman, her father is the model for the men she will be attracted to. She will learn how to relate to men in the way she relates to her father. My advice to you would be to recognize when you are feeling jealous. Remember that your husband loves you as he always has. Also remember that very soon the girl will get married and move out and on to her own family and you can again become the center of attention. This is the real problem, not the girl so much as you miss the attention he once paid you and to see how he puts so much on his daughter is really pointing out the lack of attention that you feel. Point this out gently to your husband. Not like " Why do you spend so much time and attention on her, What about me?" that is the prelude to a fight. Say something like, "We have so little time to spend together, I want a little more" Or sometime when the kids are not around or off to bed, plan something just a little romantic or out of the ordinary for the two of you to share. Take a walk at night. Have a glass of wine before bed, in the bedroom perhaps. Exchange that Tshirt for a sexy nighty without saying anything about it. Things like this will bring more of his attention your way and you will not feel so left out, or jealous. Try it, it works. I know, I have a daughter.

on st. patty’s day this year, we had a big fight. he said he wanted some time off, because he said his feelings, although still romantic, had changed. he said i had changed and i wasn’t playful/sexual anymore with him. he made it clear that he was giving the most to the relationship (which is true), and that i should try to see things from his point of view. i talked him out of taking the break, and promised to help fix things. so we were ok.

however, he started acting really strange. he didn’t seem to want to talk to me, he stopped responding to my emails, and even when i started trying to plan a wedding with him, he seemed uninterested.

he broke up with me two days ago. he wasn’t very clear why. it started because i brought up his strange behavior. i asked why he was being so distant. that’s when he told me he really needed some time off. he said he wanted something more stable… and i’m not stable because i’m an actress and acting for a living can be spastic he said he didn’t know whether a relationship with me was what he wanted. so… i’m now single.

i told him not to talk to me unless two things happened: 1) he found someone else and i need to move on, or 2) he changed his mind and wants to be with me. he sent me an IM last night asking me if i was OK. we talked for a bit, and he said he still loves me and is in love with me, but he doesn’t know what he wants in his future. he said he sees a romantic future with me, but he’s not sure that’s what he wants right now. so he’s still considering "us" but wants to weigh his options.

i’m really hoping he changes his mind. but what do you think is going on inside his mind? is it just the distance that’s killing us? has he found someone new? has he fallen out of love with me? do i need to change?

i know it may irritate/confuse a lot of people, but i’m just going to say this: he means so much to me, that i would quit school, quit acting, and come home right now if it meant saving our relationship. i would change myself to be with him. maybe that makes him unworthy of my attention, but that’s OK with me. i love this man so much. he is more than half of me. i guess what i’m trying to say is that i’m so shocked and confused, b/c this really came out of nowhere, and i’m hoping to find that magic key that will fix things. i’ve already gone through the stages of grief and denial, and i know i’m still influenced by my emotions. but i’m really in love with him, and i know in my soul that he is what i want and need. so please, PLEASE, don’t lecture me on having respect for myself and "you don’t need a man to be happy." he is what i want, and that’s not going away. please just help me figure out what is motivating his behavior.

thank you, and sorry for the novel.

Don’t really have a lot of idea’s on this one…. Maybe its because you live 400 miles away. Did you visit him often? Maybe he missed you, but he couldn’t bear it, so he broke things off with you in an attempt to stop missing you; in a way of just sealing you off. Try visiting him, and actually TALKING physically…. IM and facebook chat are NOT good for this type of thing. You and him need to see face to face to try and sort out the problem. If you can’t visit him, at least use skype.
Hope I helped… Best of luck with your situation

Please, Don’t Say Anything Smart. You Do Not Have To Respond To My Question, But All Serious Advice Would Be Appreciated.

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and have weighed this situation in your head.

I think that you should ask him out for coffee [not dinner or a movie]. I believe that he wanted a relationship with you, but because of your lack of response to his "I Love You", he continued to date to protect his heart. Go to coffee with him, sit down and tell him how you feel about him. Let him know that you enjoy the time that you spend together and miss him when your apart. See what he has to say. If he responds by saying that he loves you, ask him if he is thinking that he would like to have an exclusive dating relationship with you to see where this may go. If he says "YES" then ask him to make the commitment to you – to ask you to be his lady ‘exclusively’ in a real relationship. If he says nothing, then its time to move on. If he hems and haws, then it’s time for you to move on [don't push it just - move on with your life]. If he says that he has been seeing someone else and wants to let her go and build something with you, tell him to close that chapter quickly [never ask for details or questions cuz he is single] and to make the move to a commitment with you. If he agrees, give him 1-2 weeks [max] to close the loop with whomever he was seeing [let him know that you will only wait a wk or 2 for him to close that chapter]. You can’t get mad since you were not in a committed relationship with him. If after 2 wks he hasn’t committed, then move on.

CONTROLLING EMOTIONS
As for the age things, here is a little tip. When we women are young, we let our emotions rule us and we lash out without thinking things through. Handling our emotions comes with age and usually we have it under control by our mid thirties. Until then they can rule & unfortunately ruin things if we don’t watch out. In the future, if something with him or other people bothers you and your emotions rise, calm yourself down and wait til your alone to deal with yourself [often our emotions make us irrational and we need to learn to deal with our emotions to better deal with the situation]. When you are alone, get a sheet of paper and write out all of the facts. Not what your brain is saying, not what your friends are saying. Write out all the facts and examine them. Never ever respond to a situation when you are in anger – ya can’t take that back hurtful words even when you say "I’m sorry". Never ever send an email or text when you are angry. If you must, ‘hand write’ your angry letter and sleep with it under your pillow. Wait 24-48 hours re-read the letter then throw it away. Make a personal rule that you will NEVER send an email, text, leave a mean voicemail, curse someone out or delete stuff for 10 days after the initial thing that upset you occurs. Wait 10 days to make any kind of response. This seems crazy – YES – but you avoid a lot of antics that occur due to emotions which always get us in trouble. You avoid making mistakes that can’t be taken back. If your in the midst of something that makes you angry remove yourself and calm allll the way down.

Hope this helped some.
((HUGS))