Me and this guy met in the summer and we went out for like a month (and your reflex will say summer fling.move on) but unfortunately I can’t. After we broke up he continued to call me and tell me how much he missed me and much he wanted me with him again. He told me that all he wanted to do is lie with me and gold me and not ask for anything else( i found it cheesy and cute). I can’t stop thinking about him and I am contemplating getting closer with him. He made me feel things I’ve never felt before and his name makes me get the chills. We have so much in common. Now the bad side is that the reason why we broke up was because his bestfriend told me he was cheating on me behind my back. When he denied it I broke up with him and ever since he has been a "player". So much question is is that do I go back? Do we stay friends? I really don’t want to leave him because we were friends before and we do share alot. You know the drill no negative comments I just need someone else’s insight someone thatdoesnt know him or me so they won’t have a bias view on the situation.

it’s lame that he didn’t believe you when you said that you didn’t cheat on him.
but from reading this story i think that you two should be together cause y’all sound like a cute couple and you sound like you really like him.
i say go for him. if he starts actin’ a fool and going back to his "player" ways talk to him about it. then when that’s said and done if he doesn’t change just sit him down, tell him what’s bothering you, and calmly work it out.(:

So I have been dating this guy 5 months to the day today.

We have never said we were exclusively dating each other, and I haven’t been dating anyone else, but I gather that he has been dating other people. That has been okay with me as it was non-committed and I have just lived with it until two weeks ago when he said "I love you"… and that got me thinking. Well that threw me for a loop and I asked him where we stood, he said he wasn’t ready to commit but "wasn’t looking for more!" So I tried to be okay with that and really thought I was ok with it.

Yesterday we went out and had a great dinner, watched a movie, had sex and he took his dog for a walk. While he was walking the dog, his phone chimed and it was from a female saying "I don’t know if I said it last night or not, but thank you for a nice dinner. I should have kissed you…" I was so hurt because he told me he had a migraine and went to bed early on Friday night – so not only is he seeing other people the even worse thing is that he is lying to me. Now – I didn’t tell him I saw the text and I know that this is what you get when you snoop, but it was just something that told me I needed to look at that phone. No criticism…it was a womans intuition and it was right!!

So I told him I was not okay with the current arrangement of seeing other people, as I have too many emotions invested to think about him dating other women, and that if he didn’t want to commit then we could drop back to friends but there would be no more romantic involvement. This was mostly via text message – but the long and the short of it is he said it will be at least another year until he wants a committment and he hopes for the long term sake of our future I will be "ENORMOUSLY PATIENT" with him. He is recently divorced and wants some time to be "free" I guess – but if thats what he wanted why didn’t he say so? He wants me to continue as it is with romantic involvement and all and just sit back while he dates and looks around for other women. I said friends – thats all I can give under those conditions. I told him he can let me know if he can handle that and he hasn’t responded. He was really upset and crying and all when he took me home today, but he demands that I would have to be "patient" if I want to be with him long term…

I am hopelessly in love with him and he can make me laugh and smile like no one else and is great in bed but I can’t just sit back and be a doormat while he looks for "More" – Isn’t that correct? He has absolutely ripped my heart out with this, but I feel like if I let it go on any further it is just going to involve more emotions (on my part) and that it is an unhealthy way to conduct a relationship when I know he is seeing other people and maybe lying to me as well. The past 5 months have been really nice – I have met his family and some of his friends, he has met my Mother…we talked on the phone every day – sometimes for hours at a time but I let myself fall for someone when I shouldn’t have. What do I do?

Does anyone have any feedback on this? What would you do in my situation?

You’re being played, and rather well at that with the tears and all. Unless you want to relegate yourself to always being patient and in effect being the other woman, or the port in a storm then by all means stick with him

Hey, as a woman, I’m totally & utterly confused! I understand that when a guy has problems he needs space & needs to withdraw from his girlfriend, only to return to her when he is feeling fine again. But what about this scenario?
He wants you to leave him alone & give him space, says that it’s not over, you are still together but he has problems he can’t deal with a relationship right now.
when I ask, what if you turn around in a few days and say that you can’t be in a relationship with me, he answers ‘I can’t make any promises but I’m fine I just need space’.
What on earth does that mean? Please help!
By the way, when we first started dating 2 months ago he did tell me that when he has problems he needs to be alone and completely back away. Just a few days ago he did tell me he loved me on the phone, if that helps, and we talked about what we would do when we saw each other next. Since then though he has been very distant, told me he’s been busy and going through some problems, which he won’t discuss with me.
I did ask him if there was someone else, as I have been cheated on before. and he said no there is no one in my life, I just can’t deal with a relationship at the moment I have too much going on. But we are still together. He said he would contact me.

This goes way beyond the whole men-needing-space thing. He’s just screwed up.

I don’t think he has someone else, I just think he is absolutely not in the right frame of mind for a relationship right now, and you shouldn’t waste any more time on him. You’ll only get hurt. End it, move on. Find a man who isn’t emotionally retarded.

My boyfriend says that he doesn’t like talking on the phone and I think that its important for any relationship to communicate on a regular basis. We’ve established seeing each other on a routine schedule 3 times a week, but in between those times I feel like there’s no connection. We’ve been going out for 7 years, he’s always said that he doesn’t like talking on the phone and instead he makes the effort to try to see me on a regular basis. But this is getting TOO regular and boring. Is it just me? Or he’s plainly dull? What do you think I can do?

By the way, I trust him completely and I really don’t think its cheating or another girl type of issue. He is not like that and this is more a conflict of preference.

Any comment would be appreciated!!! …especially if you feel the same

im like that i don’t like talking on the phone, but try txting more. its quicker and less intrusive into everyday tasks and you can say anything even in the middle of the day out in public and not worry about others around you hearing

me and my ex used to send about 200 a day to each other

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. We are both 21, met at college, and still attend school together. At one point or another in our relationship, I feel that a spark has died. He had always been very easy going in the beginning of the relationship, which was one of the main things that attracted me to him. At some point though, he became somewhat jealous, or possessive, or something (I can’t quite figure it out). He gets very mad at me over nothing, which again, I can’t quite figure it out. For example, he for some reason is upset if I want to hang out with some girlfriends without inviting him. He always apologizes after I tell him how ridiculous he is for getting mad and he says it will never happen again, but then it all starts over again the next time he decides to get angry. At this point, I am so frustrated because I love him dearly but desperately want a change. He never hits me or anything or yells at me, he just gives me the cold shoulder. I told him that something has to change with us and I don’t think he understands my frustration. He blames work for his moods, but I think it lies deeper.
Thoughts?

Get the **** out of there ! Abuse does not have to be physical, he is playing with your emotions and that is unhealthy.

If he will not admit to having these serious issues and look for help, I say get out while you can. This is not something that will disappear, it will just get worse and worse as he feels he ”owns” you more and more the longer you are together.

If he is not open to changing now or negates the problem, take a break to show him how serious it is. DO NOT wait until you have a house, joint account and kids before realizing he won’t change…

I’ve been talking to this guy for a month now. We were both digging each other and a mutual friend hooked us up. We talk at least once every night, up to two hours sometimes. He’ll ask me about my day and what I’m planning on doing the next day. Also, during the day, we send a few texts here and there. He does and says all of the right things, except for one thing. He usually doesn’t call until later on in the day around 8-10:00. Is this normal? How can two people that are "talking" not talk until around that time? Doesn’t he wonder what I’m doing all day? Is it that he’s not interested enough to know what I’m doing all day? SOME days, he does randomly text to say, "Hey baby, where are you?" or "What are you doing?" Anyway, is that small detail common in relationships or should I worry? I do know he’s into me because of his words/actions prove that, but this one thing is making me wonder. Thanks for any advice!

have you asked him why he calls at those times? why don’t you try calling him? If you want a relationship, it helps to have communication. It’s a simple question, so there shouldn’t be a problem for him to answer it unless he is hiding something.

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. It’s been great until last year. I was okay with him going out, but there where times I felt.. I didn’t trust him; but for a girl that was always natural.

One day I was going through his phone and text messages.. He text a girl stating She was gorgeous and hope she was okay from the other night. I was furious when I found out. I approached him and he explained that nothing was goin on. He said he went out with his friends and this girl wanted to get with him. He confessed that he didn’t tell that her he had a girlfriend. When asked if he had ever called her, he said no.. but in fact he did. He begged for me to stay, so I gave him another chance.. and told myself if he does it again.. It’s over.

Well a few days ago, I so happened to check his phone. There was another text message from another girl.. he explained to me it was innocent flirting.

Am I getting to ahead of myself from the last time? What should I do?

Well , you said if it happened again and it did…you know the answer.

You don’t trust him, and there is a good reason for that. He made you not trust him. He is flirting with other people and thats not acceptable in a relationship. MOVE on and find someone you can trust. There is one there for everyone.

Also…you have no trust issues…you just know (its a feeling) when not to trust someone. So stop making yourself worried and leave him. he is not worth it

I’ve been dating a guy for over a year. It seems like we’ve be doing well and are definitely happy together.

Lately he’s been having stressed as well as me.
During his time of stress, I did not dare tell him too much details about my work related stress. But when his project was over, he never even tried asking about my side. I’m really upset because it seems like all the family and friends around me really cared and tried to help me but him. Now I just feel like maybe we should break up. Love is full of up and down and you’re suppose to find a partner that can be there for you for better or worse.
An added note, he’s not an emotional person and can’t really show any empathy, but that’s not an excuse for him to treat me this way right?

How can I make him understand? Yell? Cry? Ignore?

Some people just don’t know what to say and think you need space when really you need them there to comfort you. Let him know what you’ve been felling and say that you need him. Some people just aren’t comfortable with really showing their emotions and you need to work on that before you think about breaking up.. Don’t ignore the facts, and you don’t need to yell at him.. just talk!

I am in a SERIOUS dilemna with in my relationship. All I am asking is for some serious heartfelt references on how many men out there have made the difference in their relationships. That one epic deed that absolutely made the most serious problem wash away to buy back the heart of the woman he truly loves. Please share….your feedback would be MUCH appreciated.

Not to put a damper on you idea but if things are to the point that you make it sound then winning her heart back this time is just going to set that goal higher the next time.Ask your self what limits are you prepared to go to and is it worth the prolonged agony of having to win her heart just to keep the relationship alive.

Sooooo..

There’s this guy that I used to like. He used to stare, make jokes, and try and flirt me all the time and he still does. When he first started doing these things that suggested to me that he liked me; I found out he had a girlfriend. A long-term one at that. So I immediately forced myself from liking him and ened the little "crush" I had. If he could flirt with me while he had a girlfriend then why couldn’t he do the same if I was his girl right?

So, lately he broke up with his girlfriend and he told my friend that he liked me but was scared to approach me. NOW, MY QUESTION IS… Is it wrong for me to go into a relationship with him?

I would not like him to flirt with other girls how he flirted with me, when he had a girl, so I guess I shouldn’t ‘revamp’ my feelings? Should I?

So as you can see GUYS, I’m a bit confused on what to do, what’s a man’s perspective of this?

Thank you so much in advance!

Much Love!

This is kinda weird. I was in this same situation like two months ago… Me being the guy with a long term girlfriend and liking a new girl. Chances are that he’s not really interested in the long term girlfriend anymore and is looking for someone new. He was probably testing you to see if you liked him back and was worth breaking up with this other girl. Obviously, you were. I’d go for it if I were you. My new girl and I have been dating for a month and we’re very happy together. You’ll be the same.