I am in love with a married man and no he has not cheated on his wife with me nor have we had any intentions or talked in a sexual or relationship way. It all started when we where young 10-11 years old he came with my brother from america to china to visit with him and spend the summer here(yes he is american and white that doesn’t matter to me). While he was down here i got to know him very well and he actually one day stopped me from being raped and saved my life all at the same time. From that day i became entranced with him he sat along my bed side all night as i cried and shivered in fear and he just silently sat there not saying any thing or doing any thing just there. Threw that summer we hung out allot and he became a really good friend and i wanted it to be more but we both knew he had to go back to america after the summer was up he also treated me in a way like a sister (very frustrating when you love some one). So when he want back we kept in contact emailed each other at least once a week and he has always sent me a birthday gift. We have visited each other threw out the years when possible. then about 4 years ago i got married and it ended up being to an abusive man and he got married about 5 months later. Well i got divorced about 1 year ago and he is still married and we still talk. But i can’t see loving any one else but him we are both close to our thirties now and his marrige is in a rough spot and i seceritly wish he would divorce her so that i can try and get him. He has a daughter and he just adores him i want that type of man. Every man i find doesn’t even come close to the type of man his is no one is as great of a person and i can’t see loving any one else. i Send him a long email about 3 days ago telling him how i felt and he said this in responce. I love you but i am married now i will always love you as family but as for right now i am married and have a daughter i can’t just walk away from this"
I understand his point but i can’t help loveing him and if i could i would clone him so that he can stay married and i can have the copy to keep all to my self. I can’t ecplaine why i love this man so much nor can i just forget about him he feels like the one, my body mind and soul long for him but he isn’t advailable. We will always be good friends and i wont try and mess up or interfear with his marrige i am not that type of woman. Any advice on how to get over him or get to the point not every man has to stack up to him i can just be happy with a good man?
thank you for your advice
I think you are confused your feelings towards him. Like you said he was there when you needed him and your own marriage was unsuccessful, so you want him because he probably the only who you feel safe and loved to be with.
I think you need to move beyond your past (of course easy for me to say this, but I know it’s not so easy). You want to find a guy who loves and cares. Just open your heart. If you keep compare everyone with him, then you will end up marry to a dream.
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7 users responded in this post
The best way to get over a puppy, is to get another one.
Find a man who will love you unconditionally and who is not attached. The man has a family and is apparently happy. Would you want someone else loving/flirting with your man?
Move on. Try counseling if necessary.
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I think you need to end all contact with him for awhile. Write him a letter and tell him why. You need to get your thoughts together. There are other men out there, and hopefully one day you will find one that meets your needs and expectations. I wish for you that it is sooner rather than later. Above all, remember that he is married and he is being honorable. Respect him for that.
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get a dog. they’re loyal, loving, and they don’t lie…unlike this man you’re "in love" with.
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I think you are confused your feelings towards him. Like you said he was there when you needed him and your own marriage was unsuccessful, so you want him because he probably the only who you feel safe and loved to be with.
I think you need to move beyond your past (of course easy for me to say this, but I know it’s not so easy). You want to find a guy who loves and cares. Just open your heart. If you keep compare everyone with him, then you will end up marry to a dream.
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I met a man about a year ago and he introduced himself as "100% single" I’ll never forget his words. After we had been involved for several months and I had fallen in love with him, I started getting suspicious that he was seeing someone else. Turns out he was married and had a daughter. It broke my heart, and he gave me the story that he was only married for his daughter’s sake and he was in love with me and he wanted us to continue the affair. I couldn’t bear the thought of sharing him and so I ended it. We still talk to each other occasionally, and it causes me excrutiating pain. I’ve found the only thing that helps me forget is trying to stay away from him and not talk to him. Although then I’m constantly wondering where he is and how he’s doing. All I can suggest is cutting off contact and then just giving yourself time to move on.
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run like hell.
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Enough the sex, because that is all you will get.
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