HERE’S MY STORY.I MET THIS GUY ABOUT 19 YEARS AGO,HE WAS MARRIED WITH A PREGNANT WIFE OF 2 YEARS.STARTED OUT JUST AS FRIENDSHIP THEN GREW INTO MORE. I WAS ALSO MARRIED .WHEN I REALIZED I HAD DEVELOPED STONG FEELINGS FOR HIM,I DIVORCED MY HUSBAND,BUT BECAUSE HE WAS ABUSIVE NOT FOR THE OTHER MAN.I STOPPED SEEING THE OTHER MAN AFTER 6 OR 8 MONTHS AND MOVED ON.I THEN REMARRIED AND HAD A CHILD AND TRIED TO FORGET ABOUT THIS OTHER MAN.AFTER 3 YEARS I THREW IN THE TOWEL WITH MY THEN HUSBAND,AND DIVORCED HIM ALSO BUT FOR REASONS I DO NOT CARE TO MENTION.I RAN INTO THE OTHER MAN AND WE PICKED UP RIGHT WHERE WE LEFT OFF AND I CONTINUED TO SEE HIM FOR ABOUT A YEAR OFF AND ON.I AGAIN BROKE IT OFF BECAUSE I KNEW IT WAS WRONG.SO I MET SOMEONE NEW AND WHILE WE WERE DATING THE OTHER MAN COMES TO ME AND WANTS TO SEE ME AGAIN BUT I CUT HIM OFF.I EVENTUALLY MARRIED THE MAN I’M WITH NOW AND HAVE BEEN FOR 10 YEARS.WITH IN THE PAST YEAR I RAN INTO THE OTHER MAN AGAIN AND WE STARTED TALKING AGAIN. THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT FROM THE TIMES BEFORE.HE TOLD ME HE LOVED ME AND THAT HE WAS GOING TO LEAVE HIS WIFE.I HAVE NEVER ASKED OR EVEN INSINUATED THAT I WANTED HIM TO END HIS MARRIAGE WITH HER.EVEN THOUGH I SO DESPERATLEY DO.HE SAYS HE WILL LEAVE HER ONCE HE CAN TRUST THAT I WON’T WALK OUT ON HIM LIKE I DID MY OTHER HUSBANDS.HE SAYS THAT HE FEELS LIKE I THINK OF HIM AS A CHALLENGE AND ONCE I GET HIM I’LL PROBALLY NOT WANT HIM ANYMORE SO THAT IS WHY HE NEEDS MORE TIME TO SEE IF MY FEELINGS FOR HIM ARE GENUINE. I TRULY LOVE THIS MAN. I HAVE FOR 20 YEARS NOW AND NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY TO MOVE ON AND FORGET ABOUT HIM I JUST CAN’T.BY THE WAY HE TOLD ME HE LOVED ME FIRST.HE HAS BEEN CALLING ME EVERYDAY SINCE WE STARTED TALKING AGAIN AND WE SEE EACH OTHER OFTEN EVEN IF IT’S JUST FOR A FEW MINUTES.WE DON’T ALWAYS ENGAGE IN SEX,MOST OF THE TIME IT IS JUST TALKING. HE SAYS HE JUST WANTS TO BE NEAR ME AND SEE MY FACE AND HOLD ME.I KNOW WHAT WE ARE DOING IS WRONG AND I ASKED HIM IF HE EVER FEELS GUILTY AND HE SAID NOT REALLY BECAUSE HE TRULY LOVES ME. HE DOES LOVE HIS WIFE BUT NOT THE WAY HE LOVES ME.DOES ANYBODY WHO’S BEEN IN THIS SITUATION HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR ME?
whew, I agree with baby. This is a serious cat n mouse game and I am not sure who is which and if the game ends if there is anyone left to play.
I agree what you need to do is get into some intensive therapy and find out what and why makes you tick. To bad for all the kids that are growing up around this.mmhh my future clients. So you sound like self will run riot love and sex addict and or relationship addict if nothing else. I expect that then what you want to do is dump your current and grab onto this "lover of your life" and you won’t be happy until you do that. So I would take a deep breath pause and hit the reset button. Get into therapy and or a 12 step program for sex and love addiction and commit to not changing anything for a time 6 months. If this guy and you are ordained and destined it has waited 20 years so it can wait another few months while you deal with you.
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i have advice….turn caps lock off…
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spare us
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Why are you shouting? I want to give your situation some consideration, but I just cannot when you are shouting. [Hint: apply the Shift key to selectively create capitals when appropriate - it's really not difficult]
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another question
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if he really wanted you and plan to leave his wife for you,you seriously think it would take him 20 years to do that?i dont think so
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Seems to me that you have been dating to many men and that you are confused in who do you love. He is playing you, he’s not leaving his wife he’s been with her all this time. Do you really think he would be sticking with his wife all these years and feel nothing for her. He is pulling your leg. He wants to use you and dump you. You are falling for the oldest trick in the book. Stop marrying people you don’t love. You should go to get help with a Psychologist to help you deal with this weakness you have towards men. Love your self first.
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Have a look at your question – does it look easy to read to you? Turn the caps off.
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your entire life revolves around one or another man. is this what women fought the sexual revolution for? how much of your time is tied up on creating drama over some man?
"HE SAYS HE WILL LEAVE HER ONCE HE CAN TRUST THAT I WON’T WALK OUT ON HIM LIKE I DID MY OTHER HUSBANDS."
ROTFL!!! classic!
you are a piece of trash, and he is a piece of trash – the difference is, HE isn’;t leaving HIS partner for a piece of trash. He is using you for entertainment and sex. don’t you get it – he will never trust you because he CAN’T trust you.
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If it was meant to be with thus guy, you and him would have made a serious go of things 20 years ago. Leave it be. Be content on being his friend. You owe that to your current husband.
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First of all, the relationship started off wrong. Yes you may love him, that’s not for me to judge or decide and he may love you. You really have to ask yourself do you really love this man? It seems like your relationships have all turned out badly and you have to ask yourself why. I’m not suggesting that you being abused or anything like that is your fault, but what I am saying is that maybe you should look closer at the type of men that you attract and attract you. Does he fit into the same category in any way as your previous husbands and boyfriends that didn’t work out? Is there a common denominator among them all?
Secondly, HE IS MARRIED! Whether you suggested it or not, it seems as though his whole reason for wanting to leave his wife are solely because of you and not because he believes he and his wife aren’t meant to be together. His concerns about leaving her are very valid, especially considering your past relationships.
Should he leave his wife? Only if he takes you completely out of the equation and decides he truly doesn’t want to continue a relationship with his wife.
Should he get into a relationship with you? Probably not.
Should you get into a relationship with him? No way… You also should be concerned about a man ready to leave his wife of so long at the drop of a hat because he could do the exact same thing to you. And you should definitely be concerned about the way your relationship has started off because chances are, it’s going to end the same way.
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Would you leave the man you are married to now(whichever that one is)for any reasons just based on your relationship to him. If so, leave him, but just for yourself. And then tell the old flame to jump in the lake.
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whew, I agree with baby. This is a serious cat n mouse game and I am not sure who is which and if the game ends if there is anyone left to play.
I agree what you need to do is get into some intensive therapy and find out what and why makes you tick. To bad for all the kids that are growing up around this.mmhh my future clients. So you sound like self will run riot love and sex addict and or relationship addict if nothing else. I expect that then what you want to do is dump your current and grab onto this "lover of your life" and you won’t be happy until you do that. So I would take a deep breath pause and hit the reset button. Get into therapy and or a 12 step program for sex and love addiction and commit to not changing anything for a time 6 months. If this guy and you are ordained and destined it has waited 20 years so it can wait another few months while you deal with you.
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He has no intention of leaving his wife. You keep doing the same thing and therefore your results will be the same. Don’t ruin their marriage.
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The endless caps on and bottomless paragraph defy this even being read.
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i have experienced that and yes i know what you mean no answer really its a tough one
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