Men (and women too I guess): Would it be stupid of me to get into a relationship with this man?

I met a guy through a friend of mine. He is a friend of her boyfriends and I stopped at his house with her for a few minutes about two months ago. He called her and asked about me right after that and him and I ended up going on a casual date: He took me to a bbq and then we went to his friends house and watched the UFC fight with a bunch of his guy friends and after wards we went to the bar drinking. While we were at the bar a noticed he left me to go talk to a few other girls. Not a big deal – they were not better looking than me, so i was like ‘whatever’ – but it was our first date, and I thought it was kind of rude, but it’s not like I had serious feelings for him at that moment, I just did observe it, and it was noted. Nothing happened between us that night, we did a lot of kissing but that’s it.

I kinda travel a lot for work so I cant all the time at this moment, but a few (about 3) weeks goes by and were still talking through text messages everyday, a few phone calls and whatever. He wanted a picture of me, I sent him one and he sends one back. Then he sends me a picture of his penis. Ok well im not really into that sort of thing, especially being that I don’t know him that well etc. It didn’t exactly bother me, but I wasn’t really impressed. I also assume that if someone does that kinda thing they are promiscuous. Thats just what I think, but my friends say I am a prude so maybe I am.

I know he is very sexually attracted to me, he has made that clear and I like it, but I don’t want someone that only likes me for that.

I get home from out of town and the same day I hung out with him all day. Nothing happened. We kissed a lot but that’s it.

Few more weeks go by and we hooked up again, and again I went out with him and his friends. Again he is talking to girls. Annoying, but not jealous I guess I just feel its disrespectful. Again, the wondering eye and the gull he had to do that right in front of me on our second date is noted.

He has made a few comments to me about other attractive women that he has observed while he is on the phone with me, etc etc but he claims he really really likes me. His friends say the same. Ok whatever. Him and I have talked about relationships. I am 26 and I have only dated four men. I have just always been the type of person to be in long monogamous relationships, and that is what I have had – four long monogamous relationships. I don’t like to sleep around, I like being with one person. I have had breaks in between my four long term relationships, but no sex etc in between. I also have to get to know a man for a while before I even call him my boyfriend.

He on the other hand has told me that he has only really had about 2 or 3 serious relationships, and dated a bunch of women in between a slept with a lot. He also admitted to cheating on the 2 or 3 girls he actually was dating seriously. He also told me that he slept with this girl that he has a strictly sexual relationship with, during the three weeks I was out of town working. We were not dating so its not like he cheated, but we are in the courting stage of our relationship still and it kinda worries me.

He says he was being honest with me and that is why i should trust him enough to date him. I do want to date him, we have a lot of chemistry, but I feel like if I do date him and he does end up treating me like his exes and being really promiscuous while dating me that it will be my fault for even dating him in the first place.

What do you all think? And if you do think I should just move on .. how can I tell him how i feel without sounding rude?

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this!

there are a couple of phrases in your message that leap right out at me:

You want a monogamous relationship…. which means trustworthiness, respect, loyalty.

He told you he has a friend who is just a sexual partner…. where will she be when you go away on a work trip?

You write "he has only really had about 2 or 3 serious relationships", and then you tell us, " He also admitted to cheating on the 2 or 3 girls he actually was dating seriously". Did he cheat on all of the girls he had serious relationships with?

I am sorry to say…I think this man is not the one for you….I think there is pain at the end of this road. And I am leaving out the penis photograph and the going and chatting with (or chatting up) other girls when you are with him.

Sorry, but this does not sound a good avenue to go down.

You haven;t met a great deal, so it is probably easy to tell him it is a no-go situation. could you blame work commitments if you would like a less confrontational way out.

Take care, and best of luck.