Cought between 2 men relationship advice – long story?

Please answer if you feel like reading this lol =)

Here’s the situation. I met a guy from an online game from the UK (i’m from USA). we clicked instantly, and fell in love really fast. We web cammed on skype for months at a time. He was 19 when i met him. He’s now 21 and I am 25. Because of his young age, he could not afford to get to the USA to meet me and I don’t have a good enough job to have met him. But we still loved each other dearly. We just knew in our hearts that we were meant to be. everything was 100% perfect. I knew that i could never stop loving him, or love anyone more than him. A year passed, and i was lonely. I met a local guy and dated him. I ended up loving him, but not as much as my UK sweet heart. but since my local guy was… local, i stuck around for 7 whole months. even moved in with him. however, after like 2 months of dating him i knew it was the end. i lost contact a bit with my UK man becuase my Local man hacked into my facebook and saw a message written to my UK man about how much i loved him and would never love anymore more than him. anyways, after 2 months, i hated my local boy but it was too late. i started something. I ended up talking to ANOTHER Uk man, only this one is 36 years old. for the next 5 months i talked to him and fell for him, not as bad as the first, but enough. i finally left my local boy and moved back with my parents. 2 months later, still dating UK man #2, he gathered some money to get me over there for 6 weeks. well… during those few weeks, i met up with UK man #1 a few times. And let me tell you, it was just as magical in person as it was online. I am in love times a MILLION with UK man #1. He’s affectionate, and cute, and fun, and loving, and our hearts just connect! We even made love in the woods. please dont call me a cheating whore, thats the first time in my life i ever cheated, but it just felt so right!! But now, i have one week left with UK man #2. i havent slept with him since i slept with #1. i dont feel right. I dont want to hurt #2 at all. he’s a great guy, and he has a 4 yr old kid. He looks a lot older tho.. he looks almost 60. really gray and wrinkly. he’s awkward in bed, and doesnt know how to raise a kid, his heigene is gross, he smells horrible, has rotted teeth, im not attracted to him at all and he is definetly not affectionate. I love him in a different way, but not the way i love #1. here’s my main dilhema. #2 asked me to marry him. I can legally come to the UK on a fiance visa and work here. but that would be using #2 so bad, and emotionally messing with his head. but i cant come to the UK to be with #1 because he doesnt have his own place or anything, or money. and i dont have money either until i start working! so there is NO way possible to get to be with the love of my life, without using or hurting someone. so what should i do? just not do it and then never be with my love? I love him so much that it hurts. my heart hurts so bad without him. i know i cant live without him. but i really dont want to use and hurt another person. plus it makes me sick to my stomach having to kiss #2 when my heart is really there for #1. I just dont know what to do. any advice might help. what on earth can i do. 🙁 my heart is really hurting for #1.
@ james — its not 3 people. i dropped my local boy 100% cuz i didnt love him. i dont have a sex drive, actually im far from it. i only slept with #1 once…. and im just supposed to be in the relationship with #2 but i dont want to be. i dont want to hurt him.

I just want to be with #1. im not confused at all. I love #1 more than anything. he’s the one. the one and only true one. i just need to figure out how to be there with him forever.

If it was meant to be with guy #1, everything (with effort on both of your behalf) it will all work out smoothly. Using another person to get what you want is not right in any way. Your conscience should tell you that much. I am also from the USA, now living with my sweetheart from Holland. It took us awhile before we were able to live together in Holland. I know how much it hurts to be away from your love. But I also know how wonderful it is to be together. Do it the right way.

4 thoughts on “Cought between 2 men relationship advice – long story?

  1. I’m saying this out of complete honesty right now, you do not need to be in a relationship right now. If your sex drive is too hard to control, you should live a lifestyle of messing around and not being caught up in a emotional relationship, because it seems to me, you don’t what you want, and on top of that, your not knowing of what you want is putting an effect on 3 people, and they don’t deserve that. So until you figure out what you want, don’t get involved in a relationship. You need to break the relationship between you and those Englishmen.

    Update: Ok, but just know if you leave #2 for #1, things have their way of coming around, there are plenty of the other guys that can be just as compatible so get involved with them, you messed up on the situation between two UK guys, If you want to live free of guilty conscience, you’d start over and be with another guy, outside of that group, that’s nice for you. Life isn’t fair, but when situations has an opening for a clean slate, it’s sometimes best to make a decision where it’s not hurting #2 and not potentially hurting yourself by planting a seed of leaving one person for the other.
    References :

  2. You are not caught between two men.
    There is only one man.
    Tell smelly about man #! and make a deal that you will be with him (#2) if you can also have #1
    References :

  3. If it was meant to be with guy #1, everything (with effort on both of your behalf) it will all work out smoothly. Using another person to get what you want is not right in any way. Your conscience should tell you that much. I am also from the USA, now living with my sweetheart from Holland. It took us awhile before we were able to live together in Holland. I know how much it hurts to be away from your love. But I also know how wonderful it is to be together. Do it the right way.
    References :

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