I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. We are both 21, met at college, and still attend school together. At one point or another in our relationship, I feel that a spark has died. He had always been very easy going in the beginning of the relationship, which was one of the main things that attracted me to him. At some point though, he became somewhat jealous, or possessive, or something (I can’t quite figure it out). He gets very mad at me over nothing, which again, I can’t quite figure it out. For example, he for some reason is upset if I want to hang out with some girlfriends without inviting him. He always apologizes after I tell him how ridiculous he is for getting mad and he says it will never happen again, but then it all starts over again the next time he decides to get angry. At this point, I am so frustrated because I love him dearly but desperately want a change. He never hits me or anything or yells at me, he just gives me the cold shoulder. I told him that something has to change with us and I don’t think he understands my frustration. He blames work for his moods, but I think it lies deeper.
Thoughts?
Get the **** out of there ! Abuse does not have to be physical, he is playing with your emotions and that is unhealthy.
If he will not admit to having these serious issues and look for help, I say get out while you can. This is not something that will disappear, it will just get worse and worse as he feels he ”owns” you more and more the longer you are together.
If he is not open to changing now or negates the problem, take a break to show him how serious it is. DO NOT wait until you have a house, joint account and kids before realizing he won’t change…
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5 users responded in this post
Get the **** out of there ! Abuse does not have to be physical, he is playing with your emotions and that is unhealthy.
If he will not admit to having these serious issues and look for help, I say get out while you can. This is not something that will disappear, it will just get worse and worse as he feels he ”owns” you more and more the longer you are together.
If he is not open to changing now or negates the problem, take a break to show him how serious it is. DO NOT wait until you have a house, joint account and kids before realizing he won’t change…
References :
experience.
He’s insecure and overly possessive. He is punishing you for doing your own thing by giving you the cold shoulder. You should try to comfort him and assure him that it’s just a friend night and that it’s not about any guy and that you need to have time to do your own thing.
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You can stay, if you want to remain in an emotionally and in the future physically abusive relationship. This is how it starts and if you do not do the right thing now, do not be upset at 29 when you have two kids, no husband and no child support after you have had to take out a restraining order because he is abusing you.
Really, set him straight and leave. Women that stay in these relationships are the ones who end up hurt. That is a fact.
Your assistant
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He sounds VERY insecure, and needy.
The only thing I see pleasing him is if you update him on every step you make, however he could be cheating and maybe is very scared of you doing the same?
It sounds like hes attached to you and is very scared of you losing you, hes become dependant on you.
Does he hang out with his friends alot?
If not maybe, push him to? he will prolly chill out if thats the case.
Maybe, he Needs some time away?
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Get out of there, and quick!! Abuse doesn’t have to be physical. Emotional abuse in my opinion is even worse because what is said to you stays with you and him sulking is just plain childish. My ex fiance was very much like this and I’m glad I left him before he destroyed my self worth. You deserve to be in a happy and loving relationship with someone who will love you for who you are. Good luck.
References :
Personal experience
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