I feel so bad tonight, I can hardly sleep.I just found out that this guy I was involved with, flew out out town to see another woman, plus on top of that he treats me bad, he doesnt want to take me out, does not want to talk or have a nice conversation, he basically told me sex is all I will get and all I deserve..and I just notice that these are the type of guys I always tend to get involved with, guys who do not want a relationship with me, or date me, or take me out,…I always get used and hurt for some reason.. I feel like I’m not good enough, or unattractive, what gives??I thought I had all this figured out,..I was celibate for four years, and I broke my celibacy for someone who could care less about me. and its been over five years since I ve had a REAL fulfilling relationship.I feel so so bad now..and the thing is that I still have feelings for this guy..what do I do??
Please don’t take this the wrong way.
The reason they treat you like that is because you let them. You may not want the bad treatment but you stick around for more don’t you? This guy cheated on you, yes he is an @sshole and your better off without him….but he treated you bad before you knew about the other woman and you still stayed. You stayed for more bad treatment, when you should have been giving him the @ss and leaving yourself available for a nice man who doesn’t treat you bad.
Men who mistreat women have some sort of radar to women who will put up with their crap. Its like they can smell your low self esteem, insecurities or desperation on you. They know the vulnerable ones and they prey on them.
You need to fix yourself first. Stand up for yourself and demand to be treated right. If they can’t treat you right then they can’t have you…What’s the worst that could happen? They leave? Well if they don’t treat you right its no great loss is it? Just saves you months or years of inevitable pain.
When you have confidence and demand self respect. When you don’t fear being alone..You will notice that the right guys will be attracted to you. You’ll start seeing the wrong guys for what they really are…A painful waste of time, and you wont bother with them. You teach people how to treat you. People can’t mistreat you more than once unless you allow them to.
Forget this loser. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and aim higher.
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13 users responded in this post
Jesus is the best man to have a relationship with, he will treat you right.
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Maybe you’re meeting men in the wrong places, and if you live in a big city, men are more apt to shop around. Where are you meeting these men?
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all I can tell you is that you’r not alone…….but may be counseling can help you figure it out why are you attracted to this type of guys….
I would date if I were you ..just don’t get too involved until you see someone who is worth the effort…good luck
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Counseling is a great place to start as well as support groups to find out what is going on deep within and in turn having you seek out negativity in many areas including relationships.
Until you work on issues this pattern will be never ending.
Time to love yourself my friend and you know this already, so I wish you best of luck and happiness.
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Please don’t take this the wrong way.
The reason they treat you like that is because you let them. You may not want the bad treatment but you stick around for more don’t you? This guy cheated on you, yes he is an @sshole and your better off without him….but he treated you bad before you knew about the other woman and you still stayed. You stayed for more bad treatment, when you should have been giving him the @ss and leaving yourself available for a nice man who doesn’t treat you bad.
Men who mistreat women have some sort of radar to women who will put up with their crap. Its like they can smell your low self esteem, insecurities or desperation on you. They know the vulnerable ones and they prey on them.
You need to fix yourself first. Stand up for yourself and demand to be treated right. If they can’t treat you right then they can’t have you…What’s the worst that could happen? They leave? Well if they don’t treat you right its no great loss is it? Just saves you months or years of inevitable pain.
When you have confidence and demand self respect. When you don’t fear being alone..You will notice that the right guys will be attracted to you. You’ll start seeing the wrong guys for what they really are…A painful waste of time, and you wont bother with them. You teach people how to treat you. People can’t mistreat you more than once unless you allow them to.
Forget this loser. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and aim higher.
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Hi,
Depending on your age, I would suggest you call it a day and walk away. It is difficult if you love the guy but sometimes it is better to just walk away from emotional abuse.
Sit down and take stock of what you feel a fulfilling relationship is. Write down the prow’s and cons on your relationship and exactly what you would have as nonnegotiable in a relationship, decide where you are and decide if it is worth it or not. If not, walk away.
Do you have any plans for future marriage?
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University of life.
Because you make it too easy for them..Men usually like a woman that is mysterious…men that have to fight for the relationship. You need to work on improving yourself..discover your hidden talents…Don’t give in so casually and have sex with a man..why are you so desperate to have a relationship..any relationship..even a bad one…Work on being the best You. .dump the guy your with and learn to play by the rules…Bless.
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Why do you let them treat you this way? You need counseling. You will live this way for the rest of your life if you do not face your own fears and problems. It is not their problem, it is yours. You allow them to come back again and again. Grow a backbone through counseling and draw nice men to you for a change.
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Dump the guy and move on. Change your habits if you are locating the wrong men. Don’t let him tell you that crap about yourself. Leave him and tell him its his loss. You are not bad so don’t let him tell you those things. That is called verbal abuse.
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you should be feeling disgust not love. If you loved yourself you would not put up with guys like this who just use you. first I would get some christian counseling, your letting these relationships define how you see yourself. but if you get to know god, his plan is always much better than anything you had in the past. its also what you allow into your life. Let God direct your life not these men.
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Did your mother not tell you to not have sex BEFORE marriage?
Gee – why is this?
It’s more than a personal choice. Submitting to sex OUTSIDE the covenant of marriage tells the guy that you don’t care about vows or promises. Your personal integrity is so low that you will have sex anytime. Because sex is not related to any kind of vow, why should it be related to a vow WHEN married? Granted, it should take on a higher lever of importance INSIDE a marriage, but by having sex BEFORE marriage, you both just told each other that it (sex) has no real importance AT ALL!
Wonder why there is this HUGE percentage of affairs going on out there (in marriage) ? Because these people were having sex before the public admission of covenant and the words really mean nothing!
You feel bad because you feel "used". dah! You are being used, but you are being used by your own consent! Who’s the real problem here? You or him? Take a long look………IT’S YOU!
You have minimal moral character and now he KNOWS IT ! Why not take everything you are willing to give away?
You attract these kinds of guys because this is WHO YOU ARE !
When you were celibate you didn’t have these problems. However, you felt very lonely. Again, this is your fault. We are born into this world single and will go out single. We are called to "be" single in this life whether alone or married. We are supposed to be fully whole and complete as individuals BEFORE we get involved in intimate relationships so we can GIVE out of our abundance instead of sucking the life out of someone else because we are so NEEDY! Love is not taking. Love is a test to see how much one can GIVE. You, like 90% of all people out there, have very little to give because you have never come to a place of being fully complete and whole as a "single" person. Whether 15, 30, 45 or 60……….perhaps it is time to grow up.
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divorcecare.com
(spend some time getting to know who you really are!)
Spend more time getting to know them before having sex. If a guy really likes you, he’ll wait until your ready. Keep your relationships platonic (or non-sexual) for at least six months before moving it into a more intimate relationship. You’ll have a better idea of who he is as a person and if he drops by the wayside, you know what his intentions were about.
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i’m with priv828
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