I need relationship advice.. tale of 2 men and a broken heart .. how do i know who to choose?

Hi i have no-one to ask and really need some relationship advice.I am 31 years old My mother passed away when I was 15 and my nan also very recently so i have no-one really to give me some sound advice. can any of you help? I was in a relationship for 3 years with someone we will call C. I fell hard for him and we lived together bad points.. he always had a need to travel, was unfaithful early in the realtionship and generally non commital. however we did have a lot of fun and i have never been so in love and never felt the need to even look at another guy despite our differances. I wear my heart on my sleeve, he much more closed and rarely told me he loved me. things he did spoke otherwise tho. during his last trip away i decided that at 31 i needed a bit more commitment from him and we couldnt agree. I ended the relationship 9 months ago with a very sad and heavy heart.
I have now met someone else who we can call R. He is the sweetest guy you could hope for and a complete opposite to C. We have loads in common and for a couple of months I was really happy. There were a couple of niggles such as i do notice other guys and still thought about my ex from time to time. The problem now is my ex C . He has come to me saying he has made a terrible mistake and loves me to bits , he will do whatever it takes to get me back and dreams about me frequently (as i do him). this has thrown me completely if i think about C it can bring me to tears but he also broke my heart by not taking the relationship seriously before we split. I so do NOT want to hurt R he is such a lovely man and says he will do whatever it takes to make me happy. He does not know the ex has been in touch and I dont want to hurt him by telling him. what would you advise if i was your friend or daughter. If i think if the ex it brings me to tears and not just one or two tears! .. i know he is the love of my life .. or do i stay with a guy who i love but am not in love with, tho to be fair its early days . how do i know.. im am in such turmoil. my brother and dad really dont like the ex and that is so NOT the easy choice but i know i still love him. should i try and forget , break all contact and focus on this new guy or does it sound like that wont be possible. i would love any advice you could give me …Lily x
thank u all so much. viking that helped and struck a chord

I agree with some of the above I am currently with someone just like C and have done the same – I love him but he is full of false promises – he wont change he is only saying that because you have moved on and so he is doing anything he can to get you back – once he has he will not change at all – you need to try n forget about him and be strong it wil take time but it will be worth it. however I don’t think you should stay with R either because he is obviously not right for you – he is filling a void. Either give him some time to see if more feelings develop or leave him because it isn’t fair on either of you – then give yourself time and eventually meet someone who is right for you, who will respect and treat you right. Take a look at http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/
it has helped me come to terms with loving an emotionally unavailable man and get things clear in my head…its been like my bible – I hope it helps you too and there are many more people in your shoes – listen to them!
Good luck! I hope you can be strong 2010 is going to be a new start for me! Ive put up wi my man for too long and now ready and realise I will never get the commitment I want and need and someone out there will – so as much as I love him my happiness will come first!

Happy New Year x