I am falling in love with a wonderful man, he’s 47, I’m 41. I know that he knows how I feel and he knows that I have love for him. But I know that my feeling are deeper than his. I’m a very attentive person, very affectionate, and passionate. He is kind of stand offish, but not only to me, to everyone. I know that he has a big heart because I can feel it. What I need advice with is how do I deal with a relationship where I may always love him more than he loves me…and will he ever love me or just always care deeply? I am just afraid of being hurt, as I’m sure you can all understand. Please and thank you.
if you have to ask, "how do I deal with a relationship where I may always love him more than he loves me…and will he ever love me or just always care deeply?", that relationship isn’t the one you want. You can hang on hoping he will someday love you and eventually you’ll get your heart broken or you can take control of your own life and find someone who DOES care about you.
We all have choices. It’s your call.
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12 users responded in this post
if you have to ask, "how do I deal with a relationship where I may always love him more than he loves me…and will he ever love me or just always care deeply?", that relationship isn’t the one you want. You can hang on hoping he will someday love you and eventually you’ll get your heart broken or you can take control of your own life and find someone who DOES care about you.
We all have choices. It’s your call.
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all i can say is give it more time. dont pressure it to much otherwise he will leave. and for your next question doesn’t love mean the same thing for caring deeply for some one?
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You sound all over the place. Just take a chill pill and spend some alone time with him. try to just keep being your sweet self and if he opens up, then yay! but if not then move on. by the sounds of it he might be having a hard time opening up for the same reasons as you.
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it seems like you both need to sit down and talk about where both of you are aiming your relationship. I am a lot like him, my wife says that I am very stand-offish. I understand that getting hurt is never something that you or anyone wants to have happen, but all in all I think you both need to take some time and talk about things, maybe over dinner or even just a night out on the town.
First of all you will need to see where he wants things to go, if he loves you it will come out, and since you love him openly admit that to him, be firm but kind.
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Since he already knows how you feel, maybe you should tell him the rest (if you haven’t already). Like tell him that you are afraid he won’t ever love you as much as you love him. He’ll understand. If he says he’ll get there someday, then just be there for him all the time and show him how much you care for him and appreciate him. If it’s meant to happen, it will. Best of luck.
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IMO, this is not a good r/s match. And no, I don’t believe his affection for you will increase anytime in the future. I’m sure this is news you don’t want to hear and you probably will ignore it and continue on the way you’re going. You are a "giver" and he is a "taker." He’ll take whatever you give and not return that much back to you. At age 41, you pretty much don’t have that many guys to choose from. Still, I believe you could do better, even if you didn’t have anyone for awhile.
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Good that U re afraid of being hurt because when U give urself to him U will take precautions like knowing before judging him and men are hard they dont show off so easily, take it slow. Remember if he is in love with u he will come into the light but if he wants something from U, he wont because he already know that U re mad. True love is very polite and can’t be forced.
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Love
I would first suggest that you change your thinking a bit. Just because he is not as affectionate or outwardly emotional does not he does not love just as much as you love him. Some of us guys are just that way. Some of us grew up looking up to a male role model that was strong, hard working, showed little to no emotion but every they did was for love of their family. Working hard and being strict was their was to show love – and that was past on.
Talk to your man – don’t just let this simmer. Ask him of he loves you. Tell him that need to hear it said everyday – tell him that you know he loves you but that for you, you need to hear it siad outloud.
You might want to look into the book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. This book changed my marriage. No it saved my marriage. My wife is outwardly emotional, she needs to hear me say I love you, she needs me to cuddle up with her and watch a movie, she needs me show passion. I would prefer to sit and quietly read a book or watch TV and never picked up on that. I know she loves me because she takes care of my children, my house, she supports me in everything I do (except my smoking lol). This how my love language works – I need to have a caring supportive partner. I don’t know – read the book; it was one of those things she asked me to do when we were almost ready to walk away from 10 years of marriage – she found this book though a freind and read it. She then handed it to me and said if you love me want continue this marriage you will read this book – she had simmered too long – I did read it, four times in the last year. My marriage is a lot like the first year (only we have to be careful of where and when because now we children lol)
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Just been in his shoes
Well, heres what i would do…. if u feel LOVE for this person and he doesn’t feel LOVE for u then u just have to go with the flow of the relationship, maybe in time he will come forward with his feelings, saying that he feels love for u now… just give it time and if its meant to b it will happen
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Actually we share the same experience, I have the greater love and it really doesn’t matter to me if he have less love. As long as there is love, that is enough.
I’m the martyr type person and I am willing to give it all no matter what.
I know it’s unfair but that’s how I want it to be; giving my all so that there will be no regrets in the end.
Relationship is a bond or connection you have with a person or other people. How someone or something exists in relation to another, it is between two people. to improve our relationship we should follow some relationship advice such as spend more time with our partner, Write a romantic letter, spend a weekend with your partner and give gifts to like flower, cards etc. If we follow these advices our relationship will definitely improve.
I am going out with a divorced man with two kids in other country. He just ended another relationship six months back with a kid where the ex-partner is back to her country. We started the relationship with no issues and now we have an issue. He asked me to give him some time as he said he is embarassed by what happened. Which was one day I was at his place, and his ex-partner called and said his kid was sick and hospitalized. Then after he had to send me home. After that he does not talk to me and always trying to avoid me. I dont know what is he thinking now…. Shall I give him more time or confront him?
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