Ex boyfriend advice- MEN ages 30-40 HELP ME!!!?
I need some serious advice and insight-
My ex and I have been having fights lately. His father has stage 4 lung cancer and it’s gotten progressively worse. J, my boyfriend, is in a state of despression, self-reflection (he has some issues within himself he wants to work out), and intense stress. We have "broken up" but, we talk every day and after we have huge blow-outs…we admit that we love and care for each other. We also continue to express that we miss each other and feel like we have lost our best friend. We are in contact constantly and care about what’s going on in the others lives.
WHAT IS GOING ON???
Is this person keeping me in his life because he loves me and wants us to work out? Do you think he feels weak as a man right now and just needs time to sort his **** out before he can try and focus on our relationship again? This is a good man, who is 38- not looking to play games and waste time. We are both staying faithful to the other eventhough we are not technically "together". How do I interpret his love and continuing to reach out and engage in my life? Does he just need time to get strong again and get a grip on his issues and dealing with his father dying?
We wanted to get married and have a family. Something we were very open and honest about. Should I hold onto faith that this will work itself out since there is so much love? Should I give him space to resolve his stress and issues and trust he will come back since he hasn’t really done anything to PROVE that he wants to lose me, other than just screaming things when he’s angry?
Thanks!
T
Well, T, I think your man has a full plate right now. He is probably mentally exhausted and is worried that he will neglect you. He is also probably watching to see if you go. Self pity isn’t a good thing; but he’s got a lot on his mind. Sounds like you have a relationship regardless. Why not ask him if he’d like to get a cup of coffee sometime? I don’t think he’s gone anywhere- he’s just not sure how to cope. Good luck!
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Well, T, I think your man has a full plate right now. He is probably mentally exhausted and is worried that he will neglect you. He is also probably watching to see if you go. Self pity isn’t a good thing; but he’s got a lot on his mind. Sounds like you have a relationship regardless. Why not ask him if he’d like to get a cup of coffee sometime? I don’t think he’s gone anywhere- he’s just not sure how to cope. Good luck!
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wel to be onnest he does have his father on his mind at this time and it could be playing a big part in him fighting with you what has got to be done is tell him that you will not marrie him unless he get this seeing to by a counciler hun and see how it goes the but until then just sit back and then he reaise what he is doing to you
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even though it will be really hard because you love him, you need to just be there for him as a friend right now. do anything you can to help him through this rough time. keep in mind that he cannot make any rational decision about your relationship during this time of stress…you are just going to have to do your best to wait it out. once he has had some time to deal with everything going on…which might take a long time…thats when you can aproach him about your relationship. trying to sort out his feelings too soon is only going to hurt you AND him
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