Dated my girl for a little over a year. She has a bazillion guy friends. Half of which I found out are either ex’s, or have crushes on her. I accepted this, and rolled with the punches the best I could. But at some point, I feel you have to draw a line. A couple months ago, she went on a 5 day trip to the Grand Canyon/Vegas. I knew she was sharing a room with her two guy friends from college. One is married, and she was the best "man"in the wedding. Come to find out there was a 3rd male friend who was married, that she actually shared a bed with for the two nights they were in Vegas. She said if she could trust herself, then why can’t I trust her? Is this even about trust? I feel that was completely disrespectful, and not necessary when you are in a commited relationship that you actually want to work. She said if I understood the dynamic of the friendships then it wouldn’t be an issue. Well, not having met any of these guys, that’s a little hard to do. Anyway, it really put a strain on our relationship. I dealt with all the hanging out with guy friends, dinner, visits, etc. However, this one was where I drew the line. I didn’t accuse her of anything, just let her know I did not approve. Am I crazy? She made me out to be insecure, possesive, and untrusting. I mean, how many guys at 38 years old would put up with this? any input is appreciated. Thanks
Well considering you put this in the LGBT category I would usually decline answering a question like this but you seem like a nice guy.
I am a lesbian, most of my closest friends are either straight/bi guys and bi/lesbian girls. I’ve slept in the same bed as the majority of my closest friends even if I was in a relationship at the time, I’ve slept in the same bed with an ex whilst in a relationship before. If nothing happened then personally I view it as acceptable, Vegas is expensive for hotel rooms, this may be the only reason she shared the same bed as a guy.
It is about trust, why do you disapprove of it? It’s either that you’re jealous or you think she may have cheated on you. If you can’t trust her then you should get rid of her because the main thing in a relationship besides love and communication is trust.
They’re close friends and lovers will never get in between friends who are like brothers/sisters to each other. If you try and stop her from doing this then you’re trying to change her, another thing about a good relationship is that your partner accepts you for exactly who you are and doesn’t want you to change. You may make sacrifices for each other but you should not attempt to change something in her that she does not want to change herself.